It Was in the Stars
by hallowedmaiden
Summary: Fate intervenes to its fullest extent, immediately after orchestrating one of its finest performances of torture that the world has ever seen, laughing maniacally as it watches them descend into insanity, then smiling when the two pirates finally cross the line into bliss. Fate has done well. Set in The Scythe's Song-verse. Jack and Lizzie's first time. Complete.
1. Test of Conviction

_**Enjoy this torrid tale of lust and desire between Jack and Lizzie! Reviews are always welcome! This will be a four-part story.**_

* * *

He hadn't touched a drop of rum in three weeks. Not even one bloody drop. Of course, at first it hadn't crossed his mind that it might be three weeks...a few days at the most... _maybe_ three...or four...and he'd condemned himself to hold out for five, then six, because he certainly wasn't going to stop after making it that far, aching throat and fantasizing about tipping the bottle back until the entire damn thing was empty going to the devil.

Now he was wondering whether he had taken a temporary vacation into lunacy without noticing, the very notion of expecting her to run into his bed, arms, or wherever destination he fancied on a particular day, though the bed _would be_ the ideal one, seemed preposterous now, outlandish, utterly illusory.

On nights where there was a particular level of frustration he did plenty of _looking_ at rum, and there was a fair amount of undoing every single argument he had made against drinking it until he was balanced on the edge of the desk chair nearly lunging for the damn... _vile drink_.

 _Sometimes true, Lizzie darling, sometimes true._ Not that he would bloody know it right now because…and he hadn't known it then either, on that lovely little island, at least not after the little chit _burnt_ all of it.

Perhaps he ought to just take one drink in light of the memory to make up for her heroic efforts to get them rescued. _Here's to you, rum that was incinerated by the very same woman that was currently incinerating him…_

It would only be one drink, he could stop after one drink, certainly... _then again_ , he had told himself that about one kiss too, _just one kiss and he wouldn't want any more_ , but what a damn farce that had been, should have known it too, with the way that his traitorous body, mind, mouth, eyes, _whichever_ , had willingly abandoned the helm of the _Pearl_ just to go talk to her, aggravate her, see her eyes grow challenging, sparking at him like a...he was a damn captain for Christ's sake...not a lust-sick puppy being led around by a woman...beautiful as she was…

... _then why can't you just take one sip...just a quick one...just enough to…_

 _...enough to what? It wasn't like one sip was going to do the job...he wagered even that it would make the current state of his vexation worse…_

It must be the cruelest design of the gods, those damnable bastards that had probably put him in this position while laughing merrily around the vision of him sitting there glaring at the bottle of rum on the desk like he wanted to send it crashing into the wall...and _they_ were probably drinking rum...but the fact that it would both send him spiraling even further into whatever abyss was waiting for him, not that he wasn't already dipping feet, legs, torso down it, and _sabotage_ several aspects of the event that he had stopped drinking the bloody rum for in the first place, it made him want to throw a childish fit.

The _whelp_ was gone, off to be a Jones impersonator, or whatever the hell...not here was the important take away...not present, not in the vicinity, not babbling about saving Elizabeth, not babbling about how many swords he had made, not whining about his idiot father, not trading _his_ ship for anything...as far as he was concerned, Will Turner was currently non-existent, and thank _fuck_ for that. There was only so much _hero complex_ that he could take before he wanted to whack him with an oar again, and if that hadn't been satisfying, he didn't know what was.

...And that was as far as his celebration got before it came to a screeching halt, because apparently, it didn't matter whether Will Turner was here, there, in town, not in town, in the bloody ocean, _she_ still didn't seem to want much to do with _him_ , which was the paramount argument for why he should just say _fuck_ expectations and drink the entire bottle of rum sitting in front of him.

Setting his face into a scowl fierce enough to ward off anyone with the unfortunate idea to speak to him at that moment, he willed his brain to _think of something else besides her for the love of God_.

His ship, his damn gorgeous ship that he was still captain of by some grace of the world, or eating, or the weather patterns that day or tomorrow or the next week, why prostitutes found it necessary to hang on him like he was wearing them as part of his uniform, if the Kraken was real then perhaps dragons were real too, imagine finding one of those... _literally anything fucking else._

Why the color blue existed, why the color _red_ existed, why the British Navy paraded around in those unfortunate outfits, why the bloody fuck _men's wigs_ were _ever_ invented, the time when Norrington accused him of having a wooden sword, the fact that he was considering getting a new coat, how much he truly hated his father, how much he truly wanted to tell his father that he hated him, every day for the rest of his life…

It was a damn inconvenience that when a person refuses to think about something specific, that thing insinuates itself into every single damn thought. What would his new coat look like on her? How would she look at the helm of the Pearl? Like a beautiful Pirate King, which she certainly was...why precisely he no longer gave a shit about prostitutes...would she like to go with him to find a dragon?

Sinking further into his chair, he groaned at the unfairness that was being shoveled onto him, couldn't drink rum, couldn't get angry over not drinking rum because he had made the choice not to drink it, couldn't get angry at anyone else over not drinking rum because then she would ask questions, his chances of trying to entice her to him had run out, so that tactic was dead and gone, yet she didn't seem to be trying very hard to entice him...the most he got out of her was her staring at him and the usual smile and sharp comment...not that he minded either of those, sharp comments from her brightened his day, but he would be a lying tar if he said he wouldn't prefer an entirely different noise coming out of her mouth…

 _Stop. Thinking. About. Her._

Not that saying it again was helping, but he would repeat it a million more times until his brain actually listened, instead of offering up images of how she would look under him as he moved above her, how her breathy moans would sound in his ear, how she would feel inside...and he really got into trouble when he wondered how much pleasure _he_ could give _her_...Jesus Lord and the high heavens he was _done for_...cast about on the rocks like a sailor thrown from his ship during a raging hurricane...Hurricane Lizzie more like…

When had it started, exactly? When he had pulled her out of the ocean before laying her down on the dock, realizing a half a second later that she might as well be nude with how see-through her wet shift had been, or when she had gazed hard at him with a gun to her head and shackles behind her neck, as if _daring_ him to kidnap her...damnable woman, beautiful, stubborn, smart, as smart as him if he were to admit it, curious, so damn curious about _everything_ , usually using him as an information book…

" _Jack, what does this part of the ship do?"_

" _Jack. what does this pirate code mean?"_

" _Jack, have you sailed here and what was it like?"_

" _Jack, what would happen if…"_

" _Jack, have you ever…"_

Jack, Jack, _Jack_...it was getting to the point where just hearing his name in that curious voice of hers had him dropping whatever it was that he was doing to listen to her question...and he _loved_ answering them, loved the way she listened to every single word he said like they were instructions to save the damn world…

...but she hadn't asked him the one question that he had made the mistake of convincing himself she would the moment the _Flying Dutchman_ disappeared from sight…it wasn't even a question, more a statement, a demand, a proposition, an offering, a proposal of activity...

" _Jack, please make love to me."_

And it had taken on a hundred more variations than that, sometimes involving her bursting into his cabin stripping all of her clothes off before shouting at him to take her, sometimes he stumbled upon her touching herself and she begged him to help, once in awhile she would sneak up on him while he was quietly working on something or other and whisper in his ear that she was ready...but none of those scenarios seemed to quite fit…

 _Because they're fantasies, you blithering idiot…_

But fantasies were all he was going to get, he told himself, his scowl deepening until he thought his face might sink into his head.

 _So drink the damn rum._

 _No, have to keep waiting. Maybe tomorrow…_

 _Said that yesterday...but yesterday didn't count because he barely saw her…_

 _...said it the day before too…_

 _Drink the rum._

 _Can't, knowing fate it would be the moment he took a gulp that she decides…_

 _Does it really matter if you're drunk?_

 _Yes._

 _Why?_

 _Because the damn woman had gotten so far under his skin that he gave up drinking so that he might be sober the first time he made love to her…_

 _But that's never going to happen…_

 _Yes, it bloody will...it has to...if it doesn't then he would cart himself off to the asylum because he had been hallucinating desire from another human being…_

 _It's been three weeks…_

 _He knew how long it's been...He'd counted...and hands don't develop an ache from doing_ that _unless it has been far too vigorous for far too long…_

 _Longer than three weeks…_

A fact that was becoming more and more tangible with every second he sat pouting in the damn chair.

But _that_ was far less dangerous than the _other_ fact that had been doing a slow infiltration, a quiet and smooth take over of his emotions, thoughts, decisions, his _heart too but he would be damned before he admitted that it had gone that far yet..._ it was much safer to stay on the side of lust…

Not that lust was any easier to ignore, as it was making itself so damn present that he was threatening to set the fucking chair on fire with how heated his skin was, like he had caught a fever...maybe he _was_ sick, it would a good explanation for why him, Captain Jack Sparrow, had taken on the behavior...holy ever-loving _Christ_ …

 _No_. There was no bloody way that he was going to compare himself to William Turner, no damn way, he was _not_ pining after Elizabeth the same way the whelp had, absolutely not.

Except that he was, picturing and pondering and imagining and wondering, a _million_ different scenarios and ' _I wonder what's'_...what had the woman done to him? This went beyond infatuation, even though he would like very much to _pretend_ that that's all it was, it would be a lie, no doubt, but a very nice and _comfortable_ lie.

It went beyond anything he had the skill to deal with, beyond his natural ability to kick his feet up and salute whatever problem was bothering him with a ' _I'll care tomorrow or maybe not because life is finite and caring about problems is a waste of time anyway'_...he had an inkling that if he died... _really died_ , she would even follow him to the afterlife if there was one to torment him in the grave. He was living the sensation of having beached himself on an entirely new uncharted spit of land where everything may or may not possess the ability to harm part of his person...or perhaps this was far too similar to Odysseus and the sirens...even though sirens and poisonous snakes weren't really that far apart considering they could both end up getting him killed…

...but the analogy wasn't even about poisonous snakes or sirens or anything besides the far more dangerous entity of a beautiful woman named Elizabeth Swann.

He was in love with her, so damn in love with her that he had given up rum for three weeks, allowed his every waking moment to be consumed by thoughts of her, felt positively giddy when around her, if he even _smelled_ her presence he would grin to himself like a fool, _in love with her_ , like it was a foreign language he was having a ridiculous amount of trouble learning. What was that about not admitting that she'd taken over his heart? Maybe he was more worried about admitting that he had already admitted it to himself.

...but...he had seen... _glimpses_...half-sights, ' _blink and you'll miss it_ ' moments, moments where he was tricked into believing that maybe her gaze contained a little darkness, a little more heat and fire than normal, or her stare lingered a little too long, and went a little more south than necessary…and it wasn't like he had just started experiencing these hallucinations, no, _no,_ they had been dancing around him like a murder of crows flying around his head ever since that insanity-inducing voyage to Isla Cruces.

 _Then_ , he had been so sure that she had been casting glances, as if they could be called glances, more like she was trying to memorize his form to draw him later... _glances_ at him from one end of the ship to the other, a few times he caught her smiling for absolutely no damn reason, smothering it as soon as she found him looking in her direction, and she had seemed to have a fascination with his hands…

But _now_ , he was experiencing the rather terrifying sensation of wondering whether all the memories you _thought_ were real are actually entirely fabricated and made up, because she wasn't... _barely_ wasn't replicating or repeating any of the behavior she had teased him with on that voyage... _although_ , he was so sure that he had caught her tracing her lips just a few days ago, but she was looking away before he could tell if she had been looking at him…

He distinctly remembered one night when he had decided...a spur of the moment thing really...to take a dip in the ocean while they were anchored for a little while...he hadn't even spared a glance at the right side of the ship when he had crossed the deck, shedding all of his clothing besides his breeches, but on his way _back up_ , he swore that he saw something _sprinting_ away, with a flash of blonde hair and a gasp like a little kid that had been caught with their hand in the cookie jar…

It had been Lizzie on deck, he knew it, and she had stayed there while he swam, the entire time...waiting for him to come back up...what she had planned to do, he had no idea, because she had fled before he even had enough evidence to convince himself it was her. But that didn't bloody matter to his body because it gave him a scenario... _several_ scenarios to fantasize about for the rest of the week...Lizzie in the water against the Pearl, clutching a rope for dear life as he...Lizzie on the deck of the Pearl, Lizzie against the main mast, carrying Lizzie to his cabin, carrying her _out_ of his cabin, in the crow's nest…

His hand probably still hated him.

Maybe even started hating him a long time ago, but that hadn't stopped it from twitching, drifting...sneaking over to the laces on his breeches like it had a mind of its own...evidently it could deal with its emotions far better than he could.

 _He wasn't going to touch himself._

 _...Why?_

 _Wasn't helping._

 _For a little while it does._

 _Ten minutes. Maybe thirty._

 _Better than nothing._

 _Sometimes nothing is better than something if you can't have anything._

 _...What?_

 _Nevermind, the point is...what was the point again? Certainly not how her mouth would feel around his…_

He groaned again, both internally and externally, then did it once more to really express the...frustration was too tame of a word at this point...vexation, disgruntlement, grievance, but that sounded like someone had died...he just really _hated_ everything at that moment.

 _Drink some rum._

 _No._

 _Then open your breeches._

 _Double no._

 _You're running out of reasons not to do either. Or is three weeks not a good enough indicator for you?_

It didn't really matter because he was doomed to wait for however long it took, not like he had decided that, rather it had been decided for him, and if it really was to be that way, he needed to find that damn fountain sooner rather than later...the image of him grizzled and gray with sagging around his eyes and wrinkly old skin _still_ lusting after the unattainable maiden Elizabeth Swann did _not_ appeal to him.

 _Then drink. You'll be sober tomorrow again, and you can-_

 _No, he would be drinking tomorrow again if he drank tonight..._

 _So? You just said she isn't going to make any moves…_

Then, _'maybe tonight'_ had him dragging his hands over his face, ignoring when one his rings caught him in the eye... _maybe tonight...he had more of a chance of the fountain coming to him than he did of maybe tonight…_

He was laughing at himself now, a pathetic chortle that was threatening to turn itself into a pained whining...because no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop his brain from littering the stage of his thoughts with elaborate scenes of him doing various things to Lizzie, or her doing various things to him...or both at the same time…

No, _no,_ _no_ , this was _not_ the path that...well, there it went again, and he sat back in the chair again like he had been deflated, defeated, the last blow of the battle dealt upon him, all he could do now was put up with it until it decided to stop torturing him. _For now_.

He had amalgamated an entire plethora of favorite...what did he call them? Fantasies? _No_ , that implied they were never going to happen...he really wanted them to happen... _wishes then?_

How would her voice sound...quiet, a seductive whisper...would it get deeper? Raspy, like a swirl of smoke? She would whisper in his ear as he took her, or maybe not...maybe she would gasp and cry out and clutch at him...her nails in his back…

Her mouth would be wet, warm, she would be awkward at first, but he would show her...his hands in her hair, he would show her all of it...as long as he bloody stayed conscious for it, because having her mouth around him may very well kill him. Then he would put his mouth on her, _taste her_ , learn every precious valley and peak of her body, while she thrashed and grabbed his head, completely lost to what he was doing to her…

...not that he wouldn't be lost too, just the thought of her beautiful face pulled taut into that moment of abandon as she came had his hand drifting again, towards the ties, wanting to undo them, this time having a reason straining uncomfortably against the cloth…stroking himself through them...that would be fine...that would do...what would her reaction be the first time she saw him...widened eyes…a look of wonder on her face?

 _Christ,_ he wasn't even sure he would be able to pay attention if the way his heart was trying to escape his chest currently was any indication of how her undressing him might go…

...her _mouth_ gliding smoothly down his length, then back up, her saucy brown eyes staring up at him as if challenging him to appear unaffected...he wouldn't disappoint her there...he _wanted_ her to see what she did to him, what she had been doing to him, nearly every night when he took refuge anywhere quiet when the wanting took too much control from him...

...her legs wrapping around his hips as he drove into her, her body cradled by his arms curled around her shoulders, one hand fisted into her hair, the warm wetness of her wrapped around him with every stroke…

 _Fuck._

 _Rum...breeches...breeches...rum...both...no, just one...breeches it is then…_ and he scrambled to undo them, cursing when his hands chose that moment to become half-functional, dragging against the ties with more creative curses, then finally they came loose, an almost embarrassing groan torn from his mouth when he wrapped his hand around his alarmingly hard cock, resigned to the climb, the ascent into madness that he was both powerless to resist and powerless to stop once he started it...maybe what scared him the most was the thrill of _being_ powerless, lost to the complete unraveling of his mind, soul, all of them, body too...with the unraveler being Lizzie, but it wasn't like he needed to tell himself _that_ again...it had always been her and would always be her, and he bloody well wished to heaven and earth, hell and damnation that it was _her_ hand, _her_ mouth, _her_ sweet quim wrapped around him, because eventually his hand just wasn't going to do it anymore.

 _Seems just fine right now._

"Oh, _Lizzie darlin'…"_

 _And there is the only reason why..._

 _Damnation seemed to be the only destination in his future, was probably already there but had just refused to admit it...refused to admit that he had admitted it...admitted nothing...would never...already did...a hundred, thousand times...every time he came with her name a shout from his lips he was admitting it...every time her golden hair and beautiful smile and musical laughter created chaos in his brain he was admitting it…_

Then he did come with a fury that nearly destroyed the chair, her name a low growl of near anger instead of the usual shout...and as he sagged bonelessly, uncaring about whether or not he just fell to the floor in a heap, the thought danced and paraded around him yet again…

He was in love with Elizabeth bloody Swann and there wasn't shit in the world that he could do about it.

He didn't even want to try.

Liked it.

 _How fucking terrifying was that..._


	2. An Unraveling

_**Part 2! :)**_

* * *

The inhale swam into her body with a sharp convulsion of her throat, a rising of her shoulders, her chest expanding with a strength as though it thought itself capable of calming her, and then the breath became trapped within her, blockaded by a masochistic perversion of thought that disallowed her take even the slightest reprieve from the sweet torture that was enveloping her like an opium haze, dimming her consciousness to anything that might linger in reality, in that strange place where the consumption of her body by a crazed possession didn't exist, but on the last moment that she could hold the oxygen in her lungs, she reminded herself that as quick and sure as an oncoming hurricane, the acceptance that this _was_ her new reality had taken root in her mind without nary a whisper of permission.

Sweat prickled at her skin, her men's breeches and billowy white shirt rendered a prison rather than a salvation, while several strands of sun-kissed hair stuck to her forehead, staying there without even the slightest nudge from her brain that she might want to wipe them away, as it instead directed her to alternatively purse her lips and let them fall open, like that simple tactic might release the tension gripping her muscles, and nevermind her hands being applicable to any such task, as they were fisted in the bedsheets so tightly that she had lost the sensation in them.

When she finally did exhale, the equivalent of a wave summoned from Calypso herself slammed into her, not that she hadn't expected it, having learned the rhythm of this torture quite without effort, akin to a raging storm pounding mercilessly on a lone palm tree threatening to topple it over with one more crushing gust of wind. Besides, it wasn't as though she was brandishing any weapons at it, her defense was non-existent, rather more like there wasn't a defense in the world that she could wield.

And she didn't even want to defend.

Some wild part of her liked this torture, _liked_ the sensation of being dangled over a bright and crackling bonfire, and the comparison wasn't very far off, because it was so _very_ warm in here, with her wallowing in the devastating heat, balancing on the knife-edge of letting her guard fall out from under her, collapsing under the pressure of pressure itself.

She was also trembling, a raw energy bubbling underneath her skin like a simmering witches' potion, and she might have been trembling only since she had sat down on the bed with a frustrated groan, or she might have been trembling all twenty-one days since Will had left, or maybe even before that, subjected to a game of smoke and shadow with a person far more experienced in it than she, as though he was a cat and she a mouse released upon a pirate ship with the task of driving each other to near ruin, but the trembling hadn't stopped, had only grown stronger. Her body was trying to take matters into its own hands, she was sure of it, and flashes of compliance teased her every time she chanced a glance at her bedroom door.

As was the ebb and flow of this night, she inhaled again with the same trepidation as she had last time, not more than twenty seconds ago, letting her eyes fall shut for a moment, and the air only served to fan the flames within her, a companion to the other terrible and beautiful monster twisting and writhing, her own personal _Himeros_ dancing for her, the embodiment of all she was being consumed by...her _fantasies_ , released against her like armed cavalry on a battlefield when she exhaled again, each one equipped with the skill to send her into a mindless frenzy, and it was only the heavily trodden nature of them that saved her. It wasn't even those that she had to worry about, her memories proving far more lethal...

 _Tightening a bit of rope, trying to ignore the way the sun beat down on her forehead, shoulders tense and taut, and then setting her head at just the right angle to catch of a glimpse of sun-browned hands gripping the helm of the Pearl, tightening and loosening with the same rhythm of the waves, sliding across the smooth wood with a perfect caress, forcing a jaunt of breath into her lungs with a strangled gasp as she imagined what those hands might feel like upon her skin, yet utterly unable to imagine it, the lack of knowledge as torturous as a constant drip of hot wax upon her._

Those hands, a magical ingredient in her imagination all on their own…

 _Forced ahead by some kind of unknown entity, because certainly it was not her that had coaxed her body down the hallway to the door of his cabin, and it was absolutely not her that had her pressed against the wall next to it either, sucking breath in and out of her lungs like she would die if she didn't. Just a moment ago, she had been enjoying one blessed moment without torment, staring at the sky, watching the stars, and then too quickly for her to understand what was going on, booted feet were marching across the deck, a white shirt was flung down to it, along with a sword and scabbard, hat, scarf, several belts, and...but the breeches had been missing._

 _The thought of whether he had seen her there or not paled in complete and utter insignificance at the knowledge of almost all of his clothes being in a pile in front of her, and him being almost completely naked in the ocean below her…_

 _...she waited there, incapable of remembering how to use her body, until she heard him coming back up, the beads and baubles in his hair making small clinking noises, and just before his head appeared over the top of the railing, she took off into a dark corner, taking heaving breaths, but it was, unfortunately, the corner adjacent to his cabin door, and she had a complete unblocked view of his soaking wet torso, half obscured in the dark, the lower half of his body only covered with breeches, a garment that to her shame took on an entirely new definition of hatred...and the way his wet hair clung to his skin, the damnable water droplets that carved paths down the lean ridges of muscle, the dark lines of his tattoos…what would it be like to run her tongue over him, tasting the salty water and the taste of his skin below…._

 _...perhaps that was the force that nearly had her barging into his cabin and throwing herself at his feet, or his body, or throwing her body onto his bed tugging his on top of hers…where she found the strength to take a deep breath and walk away, she didn't know...didn't even want to contemplate…_

Her body fell, slumped by the weight of absolute _arousal_ that pummeled her as another memory assault attacked her.

 _The hard wooden wall behind her did nothing, the strange angle that she was twisted into sitting against it did nothing, half sliding onto her back with her only her neck jammed onto it, nothing did anything to curb the fierce fury that possessed her, driving her only towards one goal, one that lay waste to anything else...the goal of absolute earth-shattering release, that beautiful snap of tension that had her flying above everything like a dove finally released from its cage…and she was almost there, gasping and straining, warmth blooming in her loins as her fingers stroked maniacally, all the while imagining larger fingers, rougher than her own, touching her, a beautiful voice akin to velvet whispering in her ear, telling her to come, to let herself go...and then her hand became wild, slipping and jerking as she did come with a fury and an assault of half-images exploding into her mind like a rainbow of ink onto a canvas._

 _..._ But there was _nothing_ that could hold a candle to the ever-looming step over the cliff, one that she could perform only by rising from the bed and walking down the hallway, not even her fantasies could compare to the possibility of making them a reality, and she was getting nearer and nearer to throwing everything out the window for it.

Only then did she notice how quickly her heart was really beating, a frenetic musical number of looping and winding violins, banging percussion, air-piercing trumpets, all born for the sole reason of teaching the human mind the true feeling of a complete consumption of body, mind, and soul, and the frustration within her left her feeling bereft and full in tandem, tears stinging the corner of her eyes at the entire unfairness of it, of her inability to claim what she wanted without questioning herself, him, the world... _everything_.

This is what she had been reduced to, a shell of crazed need, of dizzying _yearning_ , undone by the complete and utter all-consuming physical desire for another human being. As if Jack Sparrow could be called a simple human being... _no_ , he was more like a dark sorcerer, commanding her thoughts and her body even when he was rooms away, like the devil himself winding its way into her to thrum through her like dangerous honey, mixing and fusing with her blood to make it change to lava as well, forcing her to take shelter wherever no one could see her just to smother some of the fire inside so that she may function with some semblance of normality again.

Just like he was reducing her now to chasing the cavalcade of thoughts running around in her head, carving out a place to stay inside of her mouth until she had the insane notion that maybe just screaming everything into the empty air of her bedroom might relieve her, that maybe collapsing on the floor in a fit of tears and hysterical defeated laughter with her own hand shoved down her breeches like she was a freak in a carnival, a creature ruined by lust, and something far more _dangerous_ , something that also began with the letter L, something that was going to leave her stranded on an imaginary island with nothing but her own tortured existence because she just couldn't bloody force herself off of the bed.

His roughened sailor's hands, what would they feel like on her skin? They would know where to touch, would probably know far too well...she could finally get a real glimpse of his tattoos...scars, bury her fingers in his hair...the weight of his body atop hers...how would his face look as he moved above her? Like the most intoxicating thing she had ever seen, no doubt, and it made her eyes slip closed just for a moment...would he close _his_ eyes or would he keep them gazing straight at hers... _she wanted to see him undone so bloody bad she would kill for it._

Every glimpse she had seen of his body, the exposed triangle of chest through his open shirt, every word he said to her, 'curiosity', 'my side' 'resist'...she wasn't resisting now, just waiting...that feeling she had experienced when his entire torso had been bare for her on the deck that night...like she had just sloshed and entire bottle of rum down her throat...the braids and beads in his black hair...the noises they would make when...and she would not die without knowing what kind of pleasure noises he would make...that beautiful husky voice of his even deeper, lost to her ministrations, whispering encouragement and words of gratification…

They were all like throwing gunpowder into an already raging fire, and she could no longer determine which torturous bits of her depravity involving Jack belonged to her daydreams, and which belonged to her actual dreams, or where they all originated from...and that wasn't even to speak of the absolute treachery her brain delved out to her when it made her think of what she hadn't yet seen beneath his clothing...

 _She was a bloody King for Christ's sake, and what was the worst that he could do, say no?_

 _Oh, please god don't let him say no, it would kill her_ … _strike her down as surely as a bolt of lightning from a vicious storm, if the ache between her legs didn't do it first._

Was he thinking about her? Was he sitting in his little office that she had given to him...or maybe even his cabin on the _Pearl_...was he sitting there like a starved vampire ready to pounce at the first sight of blood... _starved of her more like..._ did he fantasize about her...was he fantasizing about her? Did he...oh Lord _that_ train of thought needed to be stopped dead away...did he touch himself... _what was that about stopping that train of thought...nevermind, it was unimportant_... _how would he look while he pleasured himself...what would he be thinking…did he do it fast or slow...did he draw it out or was it...how did his hand look wrapped around himself..._ and then her thoughts took a sharp right into the _point of no return_... _but she couldn't find the strength within herself to stop…_

 _...what did his...what did he look like? Was...he...was..._ it was hard to think... _oh hard is not a good word right now..._ hard... _dammit_... _difficult_ to think when her body was threatening to start on fire from the blush... _was he..._ she blushed even harder... _please_ _why_...when she couldn't grasp words to use... _was he well-endowed_ her proper English vocabulary finally offered up, and then she barked out a ridiculous laugh that she couldn't even use simple language to wonder about Jack's... _what did she call it?_ She had collected a few terms aboard the Edinburgh Trader, and had tested them out in the safety of her own mind but... _applying them to Jack gave them an entirely new meaning...was he large...big...long...thick..._ and then she was laughing again, her pathetic head buried in her pathetic hands like she had learned that her life was falling apart and she was totally fine with it... _how absolutely ridiculous was she...could barely think about..._ oh for Heaven's sake... _his cock without feeling like a maniac exposed to too much sun for too long…_

 _...maybe she was, because that sharp right had just taken a dive straight into the first circle of hell...like she was Dante descending...or maybe she was in the second...lust...or perhaps she had already done several laps through all nine and was just revisiting…_

 _...how would he feel inside of her..._ better let the thoughts come now...more dangerous repressed... _she guessed he wasn't...small...certainly...would he fill her...would he feel warm...what would it actually feel like...similar to when she stroked herself...or was it a pleasure much greater than what she knew?_

Part of her wanted to throw herself onto the bed and writhe like a child in a fit... _she wanted Jack Sparrow to make love to her so damn bad that it really was going to kill her...going to leave her to the dogs...sharks...dogs and sharks maybe...she was going to drown in her own beautiful sea of love for a pirate and she was finding it supremely difficult to care at this point...but she at least wanted to go down with something to show for it._

And then she inhaled again, slowly, with measured focus found in some long lost vestige of her mind, forcing herself clear for one blessed second, and then another, and then another, and _then_ she was at her bedroom door, the bed behind her, the hallway in front her because the door was open now, the rush of air across her face the only indication that she could remember...he wasn't there, in the hallway, but _why_ would he be..where was he then... _she had to find him_ , _had to find him right now, couldn't even stand another moment before she had him in front of her..._

Her footsteps were unusually loud, magnified, and the frantic racing of her heart was nearly drowning them out, pounding in her ears, making her skin vibrate with tension, but she didn't care _, needed him_...could withstand her heart bursting into a million pieces if she could only have him…

Down another dark hallway, wasn't there, turning around to look down another, not there either, wrenching open a door and then clutching the frame while she looked, _god_ _where was he_...he didn't even know how frantic she was...didn't... _oh…_

And then she froze when she heard his voice, teetered on the precipice of rushing forwards and retreating back into the cave of her torment, but that thought was banished the more she heard him speak, with each word that left his mouth, wrapped in that exquisite timbre, _dammit_ , even everyday conversation sounded beautiful right now coming from him, and then she was moving again, reaching out to steady herself against the wall, his voice getting louder, _he was getting closer_...making her force several deep breaths down her throat to curb the lightheadedness that threatened to topple her over.

The light of the room was far too bright, but she did nothing to shield her eyes, maybe it wasn't even that bright, maybe it was just the amplification of the world, because _he was here now_ , just in front of her, talking to his father about something that certainly didn't matter more than she did... _was he going to see the state she was in?_ _Was he going to turn and look and see how undone was?_

Was he finally going to acknowledge the near insanity he was driving her to by doing absolutely bloody _nothing_ to her, for her, with her?

 _Turn and look at me_ she commanded silently. _Turn and look, look at what you have turned me into, dammit. Don't make me come over there and get you because I can't remember what words sound like right now, can barely feel my own body, need you to feel it, need you to return life to it, turn and look you bloody pirate_. _.._

And he didn't until she stepped closer out of pure stubbornness, his head twitching to glance in her direction like he had noticed a rodent scrambling across the floor, but then when he saw her…

 _You've been looking at me for three damn weeks...but the puzzle of Jack Sparrow was still ever-present even in his eyes...she could barely tell what he was feeling, let alone thinking, wondering...now, ever...she just wished he would fix this mess he had made…that they had both made..._


	3. White Flag

**_Part 3! :) I like reviews, thoughts, anything!_**

* * *

His father still stood there, was still talking, babbling about nonsense for all he cared now, because the object of his current attention was quickly making the rest of the world melt away, like she always did, but...his eyes raked over her form of their own volition, drinking in the way her skin shone with sweat, the way her gaze was wide like an animal staring its own predator in the face.. _.oh_ , he knew what the matter with her was, could see it in the way she trembled, the way she stood there, chest heaving with each breath she took.

Any lesser man might have been blind to what was on display before him, wouldn't pick up on...but not _him_...but that didn't mean that he wasn't right and truly poleaxed by it, absolutely, woefully, miserably unprepared...he blamed the orgasm that he had just had...it left his perceptive edges worn down...but maybe it was the complete and utter _lack_ of...of... _this_ for the last _three bloody weeks_...he had been _waiting_ for this...for _any_ sign that she wanted him... _Christ_ , why was he feeling...feeling _dizzy all of a sudden...hot, like...like another fever had...but he hadn't had a fever to begin with_...he felt his head twitch as though he was drifting into unwanted sleep... _not sleep...no...abandon...he'd been reduced to nothing but a man that would die happy in that moment if he could only…_

 _Where had this been….had he...had he missed this somehow...missed her...had she been tortured like him? How had he missed it...unfathomable..._

" _Excuse me_ , Captain Teague, but the King demands Captain Sparrow's presence in her cabin at once."

She had said the whole thing without letting her gaze stray from him an inch, not even a _millimeter_ , but underneath her now-practiced captain's drawl, was a quiver, a shake. Underneath her proud declaration with her chin held high was a begging, a _pleading_ that she only hoped he heard.

It was a miracle that she was able to speak at all, a rush of relief when she let the last word go as though it was her final weapon in her first line of offense, because the way he was looking at her, the way his eyes darkened immediately when his gaze raked over her, it made her lungs entirely bereft of breath, and she just hoped she wouldn't faint before she got back to the hallway. _He knew_ , he knew what she was feeling, knew the ache in her body, the _craving_ , with one simple appraisal of her, he _knew_ , just like he always did... _then why the bloody fuck was it her coming to get him rather than him unleashing all of his charms against her?_

Unable to stand the heat in his eyes any longer, she turned and started walking back, one foot in front of the other, then finding it ridiculous that she had to remind herself how to walk, while listening for his footsteps at the same time behind her, and _oh, she heard them_ , making her voyage back to her bedroom turn into a new level of urgency, and it was all she could do to not _run_ to the door, and then just as she entered the darkness of the hallway, she stopped, becoming intimately acquainted with the knowledge that he was right behind her, stopping himself just in time to avoid crashing into her, his hands coming to close around her waist to steady his momentum, placing his head at _just_ the right spot to press a soft kiss against the skin of her neck, whispering a " _Lizzie_ " in an exhale of breath…his hot breath making gooseflesh wash over her...she could feel a tension in his chest as it pressed against her back...

... _oh_ _mercy_ , she could _hear_ the quivering in his voice, barely there, but not for lack of presence, rather for the presence of resistance, like had been fighting the desire for so long that he had not realized that he could let it go now, had not even considered it yet.

 _The cabin. Need to get to the cabin...need to go there...to the cabin...oh god no the hallway wouldn't do…_

Then she reached behind her and wrapped her hand around his larger one before starting forwards again, possessed by something that certainly couldn't be her, dragging a pirate captain down a hallway with all the intention in the world of laying him bare before her and her before him.

He went willingly, very willingly, let himself be pulled, her soft small hand enclosed around his own...trying to control his breathing and failing... _Christ_ , Lizzie _...please hurry...walk faster..._

Yanking the door open with her free hand, she shoved him inside not from her own physical force, but from the energy threatening to bubble over, bursting out now even as she flattened herself against the door when she closed it, every sense working with precise clarity...she could feel the scratchiness of the wood against her back, could feel the hard unyielding surface, the smell of the burning candles wafting through the air, could trace every sway and dip of the patterns that the burning flame cast across the room, the orange light beautiful in her state of fevered desire.

She let her head fall back from the force of him, or maybe it was the first gesture of submission, the silent pleading for him to do with her as he wished, because he had _never_ looked at her like he was looking at her now... _all_ of his usual teasing and glittering and sparkling, the light in his eyes…it was all gone, replaced by a dark smoky fire, a shadow that settled over his face, a intensity in the way his lips opened only slightly, the way his eyes narrowed, it was as though he was a predator finally catching his prey, and she was begging him to come and feast, _please Jack, don't you dare leave me here like this_.

But then an unwanted thought wormed its way into the haze, one that she hadn't even considered... _did he actually want to touch her? Did he…_

"...You... _you...do you…_ " was the only verbalization she could manage before she gave up, her throat feeling too thick to speak, hoping he would understand that she needed to _know_ , needed him to say it, needed him to confirm what all of his talk of curiosity and coming over to his side had signaled to her…

 _Not prepared...not prepared for this_ was all he could think... _had never been prepared for this...not really...no matter how many times he fantasized about it...no matter when or where or how he thought it might happen...he had never really truly been prepared for it...had not really even thought it_ _would_ _happen...but...it was happening now and he felt like he had been swimming around in shallow water and was suddenly being tossed and thrown about in rapids…_

 _...wait...a thought permeated his fog...had she said something?_

 _Did he...did he what?_

 _Then he really looked at her eyes...saw the questioning there, and felt the distinct urge to claw at his face in frustration, maybe whoop with laughter at the same time...and walk forwards as he quickly discovered was already happening...he'd taken two steps towards her, not measured steps...more like drifting...like he was being reeled in...bloody fucking Hell…_

Her eyes dropped to his feet when he started moving, not answering her question...though she knew he heard it, his eyes had narrowed...he was moving...walking like someone approaching something dangerous but beautiful...like he was entranced…

...and then it hit her like a shower of diamonds in her mind...the thought dazzling and terrifying at the same time...he was seduced by her...bewitched...and nothing in her fantasies had prepared her for it...damnable things could go to the devil because this was something...she couldn't comprehend the...the rules of this...this was a new unexplored land. _..and it was intoxicating…_

He was two steps closer now... _four steps total..._ so near she could smell him...that blend of patchouli and sea salt...a smoky scent that had her hazy for a moment, her eyes slipping closed...then open again...pressing herself against the door in hysteria at him being that close _...five steps..._ he was close enough to feel the warmth of his body...see the way his breathing was wavering _...one deep breath in..._ broken shuddering breaths out like he couldn't control them...his eyes were fixed on her mouth, then jumping back up to her eyes...darting even further south to her chest, and further _, carving a path…_

Couldn't answer her question...she must already know...she had to with the way he was about to start disintegrating into a pile of ashes on her floor... _couldn't decide where to look...what to...he was right in front of her now...he had surrendered to this game...thrown his white flag up...but had she?_

" _...haven't had rum in three bloody weeks, love,"_ was all he could whisper, his voice hoarse, and he wasn't even sure if she would get it, if she would know what he was talking about... _he didn't even know what he was talking about anymore..._ wasn't even sure if she had heard him with the way her eyes were staring into his face…

... _hadn't had rum in three weeks? What...what…_

Breath was sucked into her chest when he raised a hand to trail his fingers down the exposed slice of skin in the opening of her shirt, his eyes following the movements…

... _had he been waiting...waiting for her...oh, his fingers were warm, and so close to...just a few more inches down and he would be touching...she wanted to ask again...wanted to hear him say that he bloody wanted her...but she couldn't focus...could only feel..._ feel her heart beating faster when he was finally close enough for her to feel the rough fabric of his clothes against her clothes _..._ forgot how to breath when he stepped closer still, pressing her against the wall, the scratch of his beard against her cheek when he leaned in _...not doing anything...just breathing...then the soft touch of his lips against her jawline…her knees nearly gave out but she only wanted more…_

She wanted to ask what he meant...wanted to _ask_ for more...wanted to ask everything...wanted...but everything that was swirling around in her mind...all of it fell away until all she could force through her lips was his name, a helpless surrender, carrying with it all of her torment, desire...everything that was gripping her very soul…

" _...Jack…"_

Just for a moment...only for a moment he lifted his head from his exploration of her jaw to look at her again, but kept his hand touching, fingers sneaking under the flap of her shirt, then back again…trying to force breath into his lungs...not even caring that she could see how difficult it was...

The look in his eyes made her next breath catch in her throat, and she convulsed when she tried to swallow it...his pupils were expanded, pitch black... _burning_ , it nearly undid her...made her body feel weak...she was sliding…

" _Do you?"_

She might have been able to answer had he not chosen that moment to press even closer to her, every angle of his body fitting into every curve of hers…something...something was…

...oh... _oh..._ throwing her head back against the door at the same time with a gasp of shock...he was hard against her...her thighs clenched violently from the rush of desire that flooded her womb...then she remembered that he had asked her a question, a ridiculous...question, all she could do was nod her head _...yes...yes...please…_

 _...but it wasn't enough...she needed more...needed to see him...needed to feel more of him...needed him to know how far she was falling...needed him to fall with her..._

Drawn to her like a moth to a flame, he descended upon her neck, exposed when she had thrown her head back... _she had felt him...he bloody well hoped so because he couldn't remember being this hard..._ her reaction nearly snapped his self-control, nearly threw it to the sharks...really did throw it to the sharks when she nodded...didn't even say anything…

... _but the sounds she was making every time he swirled his tongue against her smooth creamy skin...tasting her...little mewls...gasps of pleasure in her throat…_

It was too much...and not enough...and still _too much_ , what he was doing to her...his mouth hot and wet, her knees nearly buckling once more when he went low enough to wrap his lips around her pulse point, the sensation of his mustache against her skin only serving as a reminder of exactly _who_ had her pinned against the door…

Needed _more_...reached out with her hands...curled them around his shoulders, the rough texture of his hair scratchy...he was curling his hands around her too, around her hips, kneading her flesh through her men's breeches...then her hands were moving down, over his chest, catching the edge of his white shirt, dragging it a little, and then down further, her fingertip burning with friction from the fabric, _wishing_ there wasn't any fabric, and then its progress halted when she reached the waistband of his breeches, a breath suspended in her chest, her eyes jumping back up to find him gazing at her…

 _...Christ, she didn't even know how consumed he was...didn't even know that having her hand there was like nudging a canister of oil closer and closer to a raging bonfire._

He tilted his head towards hers, coming close to her lips, _so close_ , but didn't close the distance... _not yet_... _could feel her rapid breaths...pulled away again, but not too far..._ then tilted back in as her head angled to try and kiss him _..._ one of his hands came up to caress her face, cradle her head with it curled around her jaw...his other hand flattened against the door behind her, trapping her between it and him _..._

 _...mercy,_ _mercy_ _was all he could think when her finger started descending again, lower, lower, until she was there, her touch shaky and uncertain...but she was there, still holding his gaze, their mouths still dancing, flowing and receding...back and forth…_

How much further could she...how much more fire and heat and fever and danger could she take before she collapsed? How much closer to the edge should she dare walk...what would happen if she fell over it?

With the feel of him, hard and straining through his breeches, against only her one finger, she was already spiraling, losing control, her constitution and sense of self and anything else that might have saved her from total damnation was dripping, bleeding away like a candle exposed to a hot forge.

 _Then she walked_ _over_ _the edge with a happy salute to her person and a wish upon the stars that she lived to see tomorrow,_ walked over it with a smile on her face and a good riddance to whatever she had been before this, because his ragged " _Lizzie_ " against the corner of her mouth pierced her, took control of her body with her complete and utter permission, commanded her to wrap all five fingers around the heat, the hardness of him, cupping him, the thought of ' _this is Jack you're touching'_ racing around in what was left of her mind…

The sense of drive vanished for a moment, when she ventured, any thought of going further bludgeoned by the heavenly pleasure of her exploration…" _touch me...touch me"_ was all he could chant against her mouth when he slumped his body forward, unable to stand up straight, incredibly grateful for the hand that was supporting him against the door. He had to stop her, had to...in a moment...he would stop her in a moment...just another...her hand faltered only a little bit when he barely thrust against it, desperate for friction, and then it was back, moving...sliding up and down...

...his control snapped like a rope finally pulled too taut, and he _savored_ the gasp of shock she made...internalized it... _memorized it_... _he was_ _shocked that he remembered how to use his hands when the left one retracted from the door, shot down to grip her hip, sliding down to wrap it around her thigh...a deep growl was ripped from his throat when he surged against her, lifting her high with her legs wrapped around him, pinning her with nearly all of his weight...finally crashing his mouth against hers, kissing her like he'd been starved of it…_

All she could respond with was a deep moan...her hands buried in his hair...pulling him closer...she felt the tip of his tongue nudge against her lips...sweeping inside her...all she could do was surrender to the complete dominion he had over her...his body was thrusting, grinding below, pressing her into the door with each movement...then he finally released her mouth and buried his head into her neck…

... _he was hard...so hard as he moved against her through their breeches...the friction...building...her body nudging higher every time he...her mouth fell open in a silent moan, wetness pooling at her core where he was nestled so perfectly, sliding, rubbing…_

" _Jack, Jack…"_ she whispered, barely audible, breathy, and on the next surge, he stilled, the trembling of his hands where he still had them curled around her thighs matching the trembling of her heart, and her hands where they clutched his back _...why had he stopped...why…_

...needed to get this under control...was falling too far too fast...but her whispering his name like that, the little undulations of her hips against him, her hands exploring...needing to get his breathing under control, his body...before he lost himself entirely and took her against the door... _Christ what was this woman doing to him..._ where was his hand going...where.. _.needed to feel her...needed to know...and then he was made dizzy at the heat of her, the wetness he found...even through her clothes...she gasped, a sharp intake of breath…_

" _...Lizzie," he finally tried to speak again, shocked he still had a voice…_

 _But she didn't respond, only kept moving…_

She heard him say her name...heard the pleading in his voice, but she was too far gone...too mesmerized by the feeling of his erection against her...needed _more_ , needed to see him…" _Lizzie_ ," she heard him say again, a frustrated whine, and she finally stilled only on the trust of him not leaving her here like this.

"I-I just...I…" but it was no use...words had escaped her entirely…and then he was letting her down, her feet were back on the floor, a whine of her own at the loss of contact...but her hands were still on his back, used them to drag his body against hers again, marveling in the feel of her breasts pushed against him...time seemed to slow down when he pressed his forehead against hers, his eyes gazing at her like he was begging for mercy...he was kissing her again, threading his hands through her hair, softly moving his lips over hers...it could almost be called _tender_.

 _...he pulled away from her...from the softness of her mouth...but didn't really want to, would be happy to drown here with her…_

" _...what…"_ he heard her say with no small amount of confusion, and something like a chuckle escaped him, but it sounded more like a noise of defeat.

" _Have to slow down, love...can't very well take you against the door…"_

He half expected her to ask ' _why not_ ' but there was no need, the question was there in her eyes anyway. "Don't want to hurt you more than I have to…"

Some kind of reality came back to her, some kind of... _didn't want to hurt her_ …

"I trust you, Jack," she whispered, retracting one of the hands on his back to stroke his face, cheek, play with the end of his mustache...he needed to know that she trusted him with her whole heart...whole _soul_ , and certainly all of her body. _Would never trust anyone else like she trusted him…_

 _That_ sank into him with all the force of a sword blade piercing him...she trusted him...after all he'd done to her...put her through...all the lies he told her _...she still trusted him..._

"Go...go lay down on the bed darling," with a twitch of his head in what he hoped was the right direction.

"But-"

" _I'm not going anywhere_."...he was quick to reassure, and tell her that he _couldn't_ go anywhere, that he was spellbound by her, couldn't leave the room even if he wanted to. She went, but as though it was against a great resistance.

The world seemed like a funny place, not quite real to her, like she was floating in some kind of middle dimension...and her legs were trembling...wobbly, they had forgotten their strength, but somehow she made it to the bed, falling upon it when her knees connected...it was only the sound of fabric and metal rubbing together that gave her the strength to turn over onto her back, just in time to see him remove his last belt. His boots and sash were gone as well, leaving him in only his breeches, shirt and vest... _still far too much clothing...and taking far too long…needed to feel the warmth of his body next to her again…needed him to cure the ache...the almost painful ache between her legs…"Jack,"_ spilled out of her onto the pillow, pushed forth by desperation... _wait, what was he doing?_

His hands were on the ties of his breeches when he heard a quiet whisper... _no_ , _let me_...she was sitting up now, still leaning back against the headboard, her head at an angle that let the golden light from the candles perfectly highlight the strong lines of her face...the soft curve of her lips, her perfect nose...high cheekbones...her eyes, those caramel brown eyes that he had become his salvation, they were gazing at his hands with a _hunger_ so strong that he felt some of it vibrate through his body...she possessed the beauty of Aphrodite, the sinful darkness of Persephone, and the _light_ of Artemis...but she was no goddess, she was something beyond even that realm...something made of...of the same thing as the sea, as his _Pearl_... _magic._

 _No,_ tonight was her experience, _hers_.

 _And he still struggled to believe that she was here, for him, that she wanted him…_

As if beckoned by some unseen force he went to her, first his knee, then his other knee, he moved until he was arranged next to her on the bed, propped up by his elbow. _Slow...need to take this slow...needed to guide her into shallow water first...needed to make sure she really wanted this...that this wasn't some delirious fantasy that she would regret come morning…_

She had scooted closer to him, was laying back down on the pillow now, still gazing at him...her mouth was parted…" _What...what happens now?"_

There was a piece of hair sticking to her forehead...he reached out to softly push it away, before being reminded of something. "Need to take these off is what happens now," he whispered, letting the candlelight catch the silver of one of his rings, and then he did just that, slid each one off and twisted to place all of them on the little table next to the bed. She followed his movement with both a curiosity and confusion... _so damn endearing...like she was playing a tune that he had no choice but to dance to…"Why?" he heard her ask…_

"Might...might get in the way."

His voice...it was so soft...she had never heard it that soft before, like he had found a tone that was only reserved for her ears...he _was_ here only for her...and there was something in his eyes that she had never seen before... _but oh, she had wanted to see it, had wanted so desperately to see it...that vulnerability...that trust, he trusted her..."_ Get in the way?" she asked as she wrapped her fingers around his hand, bringing it closer to her, playing with it...inspecting each finger like a piece of fine treasure...he watched her do it with a quirked eyebrow...she thought about telling him how they had fascinated her...how transfixed she was on them…

"I like these," was all her brain let her articulate... _good enough,_ she supposed, and then it struck her that he wasn't really doing... _anything_ , just laying there, _waiting...he was waiting…_

 _...for her permission. How did she tell him everything she wanted when she barely knew herself?_ How did she...she had no way to tell him how damn much she wanted him…even though she felt like they had journeyed across mountains already compared to where they had been just a little while ago...they had barely done anything yet it felt like they had burst some resistance...some kind of blockage between them…

" _Jack...I...need…"_ and she stopped, pressed her lips together, dug her tongue into the bottom of her mouth in frustration… _"I need...your hands...just...you know...I trust you, just show me…"_

She was babbling...not really making any sense, but it was the best she could do...amazed that she could do even that with the way his gaze was straying down her body...he was close enough now so their legs were touching. " _What?_ " she pleaded, _running out of patience…_

Permission, she had given him permission to touch her, but now he found himself in a quandary... _didn't know where to start, there were too many things...he was well and truly flummoxed…had never felt this before...had never felt such a need to pleasure someone else...had never felt it completely drown his own need for pleasure…_ he scooted a little closer, bent over her just a little, brought his hand up to stroke her face, appreciating the way her eyes fluttered closed, traced his finger down her cheekbone, over the line of her lips, and then a rush of heat settled in his loins when her tongue darted out to draw it into her mouth…

 _Lizzie...Lizzie...she had no idea the power she wielded over him..._ he bent closer, the ends of his hair bunching up on her chest, and then finally lowered his head to softly touch his lips to hers, slanting against them, accepting her sigh into his mouth, taking the opportunity to slip his tongue inside... _took his time_ , like he was savoring the last bit of water from the canteen as a man stranded in the middle of the desert, even as her hands slithered around to his neck, pushing his mouth harder against hers, deepening the kiss herself.

 _Oh god, how could just his kiss make her feel like this...make her feel like her body was trying to turn itself inside out with need...pleasure..._ his lips were rough on her own, his hair surprisingly silky despite being a tangled mess, and god _...this was Jack...Jack was kissing her...was she ever going to….going to move past that beautiful thought..._ then he broke away suddenly. "The rings...didn't think you would fancy having them there…"

 _Where...whe-oh...oh...it was like a wave coursing through her body with the way she undulated, unable to contain the sudden onslaught of heat…"Please,"_ but it didn't even sound like a word to her anymore...just the only sound she knew of that might spur him on, that might make him end this sweet torture...and then she felt his hands dragging her shirt up from her breeches until it was completely loose…

His lips were on her jaw again, soft kisses _,_ a murmured _"beautiful"_ making her hair stand on end...then he crossed the valley to her neck, making his way down it...his hand was sliding under her shirt, and she forgot how to breathe when he flattened it against her stomach, stroking with his fingers, inching higher...higher…

Suddenly he lifted his head to stare down at her when he reached her ribcage. She answered his question before he even asked it, with a blush and a 'you caught me' in her voice, "Thought it would annoy you if I bound them…" and it was a perfect truth...she really had forgone the bindings in the hope that this exact moment would happen.

 _Would annoy him_...he laughed despite himself, dropping his head to lay on her ribcage. "Darling, if I had to unwind a hundred yards…" and then he stopped, just shaking his head, felt her hand play with his piece of eight that he had tied back in his hair, felt her play with the edges of his bandanna, heard her ask " _What_ " again, in that way, like she knew he had deeper thoughts bubbling just under the surface.

"It's not obvious?" he asked, glancing back up to find her staring at him curiously, _always curious…he couldn't wait any longer, needed to know_...his fingers glided higher, _almost there_ , then he felt the soft swell of her breast, the warmth of her skin...a gasp escaped him before he could rein it in... _but he didn't care anymore..._

"Nothing about you is ever obvious, it's why we got into this- _oh_ -"

He forgot what they had been talking about... _had they been talking? Wasn't sure...couldn't think with...with what he held in his hand, so soft, so perfectly soft...perfect shape…_

It was like some kind of long-told prophecy had finally been fulfilled, him touching her, and her back bowed with the feeling, the _exquisite_ rightness of it, his mouth was back on her neck, the scratch of his beard, tasting her, kissing her...all she could do was thrust her chest higher, ask for more in the only language that she knew at the moment…" _Can't believe...can't believe it_ " he was saying, _whispering_ into the bend of her neck and shoulder where his other hand had pulled her shirt back. She felt something tightening, tingling _...what..._ and then his thumb brushed over her nipple and she moaned so quickly and so suddenly that her hand flew up to cover her mouth.

She was so lost in the sensation of his hand, _his fingers_ teasing her, rolling the hardened peak, gently pinching, caressing, that she left her hand where it was, until he pulled it away, replacing it with his mouth, kissing the corner of hers, across her chin, whispering again, " _You never have to hide from me, darling, you're free with me...free here,"..._ and she felt that, _felt_ her inhibitions floating away, her next moan offered to the room with no impediment. His hand slid over to her other breast, giving it the same attention as warmth pooled in her belly. "Jack... _please_ ," and he damn well better know what she meant when she raised her hips, but even then, she didn't _really_ know what she was asking for, her own fumblings incomparable now…

He wanted her to feel like she had nothing to fear, that she was _safe_ here with him, where she hadn't been everywhere else, where society had constricted her, where the twists and turns of life had poked and prodded, impeded her...but _not_ here, here she was free to fly...free to be whatever she wanted to be...and the _feeling_ , the selflessness he felt growing in his chest...there was another word for it that he couldn't comprehend right at that moment...it _scared_ him, scared him and drew him in like...it clawed at his insides, tore them down, tore everything down as he waved at the destruction... _didn't care anymore_.

The burning warmth of his fingers left her to trail back down her stomach, a noise of protest muffled by his lips... _then suddenly they were gripping the edge of her shirt_ , and he pulled away from kissing her, just hovered above her face, asking the question silently...a wildness settled inside her then, an all-consuming flame for him to _see_ her, to see...she pushed up on her elbows to reclaim his mouth, nodding her head at the same time.

Her shirt tickled as he dragged it up, his fingertips brushing her too, playing with her belly button for a moment, then pulling the fabric higher...her heart hammering in her chest even as she pulled him to her with a hand on the back of his neck...it was so close, was trailing over the curve of her breasts now, then up…"... _up…"_ she vaguely heard him say, not understanding, then " _lift up love,"..._ still not understanding... _his voice_ , it was so _husky, so...heated...quivering...another "Lizzie" gasped, just barely gasped..._ she could feel the vibration of it from her hand on his chest...didn't even know when she had put her hand there... _it was like she was a puppet, dancing to the movement of the strings_ …

 _..._ finally something clicked in her brain, but she didn't stop to dwell on it, just lifted her arms up and reveled in the feel of the shirt sliding off, in the beautiful moment of liberation, of the stripping of her previous life, the life that was falling to the wayside...disappearing into the ether...time suspended around her, the room looked blurry...she couldn't focus...but then she saw _him_ , saw his face, his burning dark eyes, the kohl around them, _gazing at her_...there was a heat in them that made her feel _proud_ , like she was worshipped, _cherished…_

Her hair fell in golden strands onto her skin, a chunk of it lying right across her left breast, treasure covering an even greater treasure... _she was so beautiful...so damn perfect it hurt,_ made his breath come out with a sigh of appreciation...she followed his movement as he leaned forward to lift her hair up, move it to the side so that he may see all of her... _so that he may see what he certainly didn't deserve...Jack Sparrow had never been fated to deserve angels...not by his account…_

She had a question in her eyes again, her chest rising and falling with measured breaths…and he suddenly felt... _felt_ _like he needed to say something…_ but then she was grasping his hand again, light dancing in her eyes, pulling it back to her skin...any thoughts he might have had... _the cobwebs_ , they were driven away... _she felt like he deserved her in this moment, and he wasn't about to challenge her on it,_ especially not when she wrapped his fingers around the soft skin of her breast again, not when she pulled him back downto press her mouth to his again, not when she shuddered as the ends of his hair tickled her skin again. _She was going to be the death of him, and he was going to climb into his grave with more enthusiasm than a court jester with a good audience._

 _Never thought...never thought it could feel this good..._ his thumb was back at her nipple, flicking it back and forth, pressing into it, murmuring a " _you're so bloody beautiful_ " when he broke away from the kiss to return to her neck, pressing his lips to the corner of her jaw, drifting lower, laving his tongue across her skin like he was enjoying the finest Swiss chocolate...lower, lower still, the red of his bandanna taking up her vision now as a blush spread across her chest from... _oh_...was he... _oh...her hand clenched in the bed sheets, a moan of relief spilling out of her, relief from a pain that she hadn't yet understood the full scope of...not until now...his mouth was so warm, so careful…_

" _Jack…Jack," she heard herself say, t_ he last half of the second one feathering off into a moan of delight...his other hand was still on her right breast as his tongue swirled and teased the nipple of her left one until it felt like her body was on fire...pleasure shooting down to her core like arrows streaking through her...but he kept going, not understanding that she was surely going to die from this...kept going...sucked, a little nibble had her clutching his hair, sliding her fingers under the cloth of his bandanna, tugging…

… _lightheaded...why...oh..._ and then the warmth left, just for a second...her head snapped down to gaze at him with his chin resting against her, his eyes twinkling…" _What…" said more with the breath being puffed out of her…_

"Need to breathe, Lizzie darling, can't have you passing out on me," he whispered...those damnable lips curving into a little smile...his voice was still shaky...uneven, and it _warmed_ something within her to know that he was as affected as she was...as...as... _god she couldn't think when his mouth was doing that...but it was only stoking the fire….only making it burn brighter in the one place that she needed him most..._ her hand latched onto his when it left her breast to start trailing... _dragging_ back down her torso, like her body was subconsciously making _sure_ that he was going to finish the descent…

" _Trust me darling, I won't leave you wanting, I promise,"_ and it sounded like music to her ears, that he was intent on seeing to her pleasure, a thrill jumping through her when his fingers nudged the edge of her breeches, and she nodded, though she didn't think he needed to wait for her permission anymore...she was practically _begging_ him.

Everyone had always left her wanting, wanting out of her life, out of society, out of the damn corsets...left her wanting to see the world, to be _free_...but he wasn't going to put a cage around her, _couldn't_ , and that he was the one she trusted, that she trusted him to take her to the places she wanted to go, that no one else would...it was _remarkable._

" _Jack,_ I can't wait anymore…" and then he finally released her nipple again to smile softly at her, his fingers working the ties of her breeches, pulling one string loose, then another, until they were all undone...her eyes slipped closed as the weight of what was about to happen settled in her... _Jack was going to touch her..._ he loosened her waistband until there was a big enough opening for him to slip his hand in... _Jack was going to touch her..._ then he laid his head down on her chest, his fingers splayed across her stomach, the color of his skin a few shades darker than hers, but she was catching up.

His hand drifted to her, skating over the loose strings to settle against the warm heat of her through her breeches... _stroking_ , just a few strokes, then retracted back and finally, _finally_ she watched his hand slide inside, his fingers ghosting over her curls...her heart was speeding up... _faster_...she could hear it pounding in her ears, could feel... _hear_ her blood rushing...then he stopped...just held his hand there...scooted a little closer to her…nudged his other hand at her shoulder, whispered an "up" and by some miracle she understood, lifting her body until he could slide his arm under her. Then he whispered something else...she whispered a " _what_ " back…

"...open up a bit, darling,"...one of his fingers gave her inner thigh a gentle nudge, and she understood again, parting her legs to give him enough room... _it was so hot in the room...her skin felt so hot...her entire body was vibrating with the frantic pace of her heart..._ then he was kissing the skin above it, above her heart... _whispering again_ …" _you're free, love, I don't want to see you hiding anymore, not from me…"..._ he laid a gentle kiss on her jaw, caressed her neck softly with the hand that was cradling her left shoulder…

... _oh,_ _oh_ _...her head went back against the pillow, her mouth open in a silent moan...yes, yes,_ _yes_ _, it was all she could think...nothing else...n_ othing else as his fingers trailed down the outside of her center, stroking gently, doing the same to the other side...before almost _tickling_ the soft skin of her thighs...going down each one of them with featherlight movements...another " _you're beautiful, Lizzie"_ murmured somewhere... _didn't have enough focus to care about where on her skin he had said it...could only think about the sublime torture that he was putting her through…_

…" _please"...it was a whimper...begging...but she no longer cared...needed his touch so damn badly…_

A soft whoosh of breath left him... _onto her breast as he kissed his way up the soft swell of it...she knew what it was...a surrender...he wanted to touch her as badly as she wanted him to touch her...touch..she wanted…_

 _...everything suddenly clenched, her stomach, her hand that was curled around his shoulder for support, her other hand in the bedsheets, her hips arched up, pushing into his touch...how could her heart beat that...that fast…_

" _Oh...oh…" she breathed, unable to_ think beyond simple vocabulary as he stroked one finger up and down her slit...soft strokes...but _god_ , it was heavenly…

"All those times I caught you staring at my hands," came his voice, the words floating out of his mouth in a velvety timbre, "you were thinking of how they would feel here, weren't you?"

 _Probably equal to the times that he had thought about her hands on him...her mouth..._

 _Yes, oh..._ she nodded, jerky little twitches of her head when his finger swirled a little faster over her folds, spreading her moisture around as she started to give little thrusts against his hand. "How they would _stroke_ you, make you feel like nothing else mattered, make you feel so... _warm_ … _safe_..."

A blistering second passed before she nodded again, searching through the thick fog for a response... _something_ …" _Your side...I came…"_ was what her brain gave her, and she didn't even know if it made sense... _didn't care…_

If he had known _that_ conversation was going to get brought up _now_ , in _this_ context...oh how the world works in strange ways...

He chuckled, burying his head in the bed of her neck for a moment… _"Not yet love. How wet did you get I wonder, standing on deck stealing glances at me...imagining me doing this...what else did you imagine?"_

 _Everything,_ she wanted to tell him, _everything_ , but her thoughts, brain, voice, body, they were all failing her, losing their function faster than she could put the pieces back together. " _You...you,_ " she gasped, " _you...inside me...so close…"_ and then a fresh wave of heat washed over her, sending her back arching softly. " _Mmm, like this?"_ accompanied by him dipping the tip of his finger into her entrance, just barely. She would die from this any second now... _any second...any…_

" _No...yes...but...not just…"_ then suddenly he withdrew his hand from her body and she keened in protest, until he wrapped it around her free hand...the presence of her moisture on his fingers... _she could feel it_...made her core _pulse_ with heat... _what...what was he doing...what was-oh..._ her breath was stolen again when he placed her hand against the bulge in his breeches, her finger coming into contact with a damp spot…

 _Control...maintain control...but it was damn hard to obey his own mind...had to make this about her...eventually about him a little bit, but for now..._

" _You imagined this inside of you, didn't you, over and over again, until you couldn't sleep at night...until you touched yourself to the thought of it…"_ he whispered, letting her linger there only for a moment before pushing her hand back down to the bed. " _Yes…"_ was all she could say, the images his words brought her...of him inside of her, his body so close to hers...then his hand was sliding back into her breeches, resuming his gentle stroking. " _Yes,"_ she said again with a sigh of relief, then tipped her hips up, asking for something... _something more…_

" _How did it feel when you came...thinking of me…"..._ his fingers were inching higher now, he'd added one…" _Like your entire body was on fire, like hot coals had been placed inside, like it would never end, like you had found nirvana…"_

She nodded through all of it…" _I bet you were so beautiful, your hand stroking here, your head tipped back, legs spread...soft moans...my name…"_

The very thought her touching herself made his cock throb in his breeches, but he repeated the mantra that was starting to not even sound like a word anymore... _patience...patience..._

" _At...at the end...your name at the end...always…"_ she said into his neck, where she currently had her face...felt him swallow at the same time as his hand faltered below, followed by another barely whispered _'Lizzie'_ and she realized that everything he was doing... _saying_...it was all for her pleasure, and _his_...the thought had her making noises into his skin... _whimpers, moans, anything she could think of…"Please," she cried...begging him…_ then suddenly his hand circled around to the other side...he was working her breeches down a little farther….circling back around...his fingers were there again...then... _there, oh yes...yes...god…_

The tip of his finger was rubbing her clit, just barely, but she had never felt anything more exquisite...he curled his arm under her back, pulling her closer...insinuated a leg closer...lifted her leg to hook over it…" _I'll make it so much better for you,"_ he promised, bending his head to take a nipple into his mouth again, stroking his fingers a little faster, rotating them... _she was putty in his hands...a slave to this...to the death he was surely bringing her…there was nothing she could do to stop it...didn't want to...heat was traveling through her body, down her spine, exploding in her chest, trailing out from her core into her thighs…_

 _...too much...too much...but not enough…_

" _I...oh,_ _Jack_ _,"...whimpered into his neck...her other arm came up to wrap around his left shoulder, clutching him to her...she wanted to be completely free...wanted everything off…_

"I need... _Jack...I_ ,"...he stopped his ministrations on her heated flesh to glance up at her, slowing the movements of his hand for a moment. "What, darling?"

All she could respond with was a jerk of her hips and a breathy "off", earning her a surprised smile... _why was he surprised…_ they both worked together to relieve her of the offending clothing until the rough fabric was sliding down her legs...off, then thrown to the side.

...Angelic...a _siren...far too beautiful for him...perfect...but she was here, spread out for him like a canvas waiting to be made into art...a masterpiece painting...but one only meant for him...at least in this moment..._

 _She was naked with Jack...her heart shook...thudded with a new intensity..._ she found his eyes gazing at her body, at the junction of her thighs with a heat that constricted her chest with emotion... _couldn't stop the blush that washed over her skin...but she didn't make any more to cover herself...didn't want to…_

"Do you have _any_ idea," she heard him say, more to himself...then fingers were turning her head towards his, his lips were covering hers again in a tender kiss, his beard scratching her, his hand skating back down her stomach, lower... _lower...yes...nothing in the way now..._ her back arched high when his clever fingers found her clit again, stroking...softly, then harder, dipping back down to her slit to caress her folds... _then_ , ever lower to curl two fingers into her entrance…

" _...oh…_ "

 _...he was stroking there, while his thumb worked her nub..._ then he broke away from the kiss...she felt his breath against her jaw...quick and heavy...:" _I thought about touching you like this...thought about what you would sound like...what face you might make when you come...your beautiful lips parted just so…"_

His fingers sank inside a little deeper, thrusting...sliding out, then back in…" _Imagine what I'll feel like inside you…"_ then his thumb swirled faster...her breath came faster...her entire body was trembling...heat coiled in her hips...spidering out like fire in her veins, " _thrusting, holding you…"_

His thumb changed to precise flicks…" _But you already did...always so curious Lizzie..."_

 _...yes, curious...didn't know...didn't know what she was saying those words to...didn't know if she was even saying them...the rest of the world was falling away, disappearing...the only thing left was Jack and his beautiful voice and the beautiful magical things he was doing..._ she spread her legs wider, grinding against his hand, clutched his body to hers tighter, like he was never going to get close enough…couldn't stop the moans spilling out of her…

...even when they became silent, her mouth working, teeth clenching...her head was thrashing...she could feel the hair sticking to her forehead...when her heart sped up to something that could be called dangerous... _murderous...it was going to kill her...oh…_

 _...tears pricked at the corner of her eyes...it was so good...so perfect...something was coming...something that was stealing her lifeforce...her breath...her mind….everything...she could hear him chanting "so close, you're so close"...and all she could do was press her face tighter into his neck...sobbing...tightening...her hand was clutching his shirt...pulling it...her hips bucking higher...her thighs clenching...then "come for me love" whispered in her ear...a streak of heat traveled down her spine, warmth bloomed in her womb...heat prickled at her skin…_

 _...her world_ _broke_ _, soared, then broke again, bright lights exploding around her...her body surging against him, wave after wave of euphoria...never ending...never wanted it to end...she was crying against him, sobbing, screaming his name...and he was still stroking...made the fire go on and on...until the last flame left her body..._ she slumped against him, breathing heavily, clutching at him like she would fall from the world if she didn't hang on...never wanted to let him go...his fingers were still inside of her, his thumb still on her...touching her gently as she slowly materialized back into reality.

His head was nestled into the crook of her shoulder...his hand was stroking her stomach now, making circles with his finger, teasing her belly button, making her muscles twitch when he touched _just_ that spot…"You _are_ beautiful when you come, darling, _so_ beautiful,"...his voice vibrated against her, sounding satisfied, and only a _little_ smug. As soon as she felt like she was back on his plane of existence, she took stock of herself, of her legs that were still spread...but more relaxed...of the weight that settled in her...the _fulfillment..._ but at the same time, she felt free, weightless, like she could soar above the clouds or take on an army of a thousand men. She felt like she could do _anything._

" _What about you?"_ she asked….her voice sounded heavy, raspy... _satiated...for the moment…_

" _What about me?"_

A slow smile...a _grin_ made its way over her face...she felt almost _powerful,_ like she had this energy inside of her…

"What do you look like when...I want to _see,"_ and she heard his sharp intake of breath, followed by the delicious little chuckle he gave her.

"... _When I come?_ Mmm, only _one_ way to find out, love."

Finally, she opened her eyes to look at him hovering above her, stroking the hair away from her face, then trailing his finger over her cheekbones, making circles over her skin. The orange light of the room highlighted his features, made the stark darkness of his mustache stand out, made his eyes look smoky, _sinister_ , yet exotic, but the softness in them...he was so _unguarded_ in that moment, staring down at her...she liked to think that not many people got to see him like that.

Then she watched him shift onto his back, extracting his arm out from under her...his hands went to the ties of his breeches again... _no, let me..._ her own words came back to her from earlier...she was impressed that she could remember them…

" _Stop_ ," she told him, sitting up and reaching over to still his fingers, looking around at him to catch his curious look. " _I_ want to."

Slowly, his hands dropped to either side of him...his look was an expression of 'well alright, go on', but she had other plans...plans that she was making up on the spot, fueled by her newfound sexual bravery, and the blistering need to see him...to _see_ what was denied from her sight for far too long…

" _No,_ not here. _Over there_ ," she said to the wall next to the bed, inclining her head in its direction at the same time. "I want to see all of you...I want to step back and _look_...I waited far too long for you to be denied the chance to admire you fully,"...it was all said with her special tinge of kingly command, her chin raised high, a challenge for him to argue in her eyes...and then his mouth twitched, a smirk turning the corner of it up...but underneath that...underneath the teasing and the sparkling light in his eyes, was a hunger, a deep burning _desire_ that permeated the air surrounding him, permeated her...made her feel heady and entirely unprepared for him, yet wholly unable to stop the train of events before her.

She would lay her eyes on him if it was the _last_ damn thing she ever did, and she was _determined_ to face anything that stood in her way of seeing him fall apart from pleasure exactly as she had.


	4. Casualties

_**Part 4! :)**_

* * *

It occurred to her... _the thought_...as she slid one leg over the side of the bed, then the other, her feet touching the worn wood of her bedroom, that Jack was the first one to... _see_ her... _all of her_...he was the first man to give her an orgasm...the first man to touch her...the first man to whisper beautiful things in her ear as he gave her pleasure...the first man to make her feel truly _free_...the first man to make her feel...so _peaceful_...like she had found a pocket in the world where nothing bad could ever happen, where it was only her and Jack and...she was fiercely glad that it was _him_ , that it was Jack...her pirate captain...her devilish trickster, with his golden smile and dark eyes... _there was no one else in the world she could fathom giving herself to_...and she was _so_ grateful that he was...allowing himself to be _vulnerable_ with her...to allow her to _see_ him...and for his patience with her…

She felt the bed moving, felt the mattress surface shifting...then strong arms were sliding around her, pulling her back against a solid chest, warm lips teasing the skin of her neck. " _Second thoughts, darling_?" A hand covered her breast, gentle kneading, his thumb playing with her nipple again, earning him a sigh and a whisper of his name. His voice was teasing, playful, but it had an underlying tone of urgency, like under the layers of patience was a thin thread of self-control that was fraying more every second.

" _No,"_ she whispered back. "Just thinking."

"Mmm, what about?"

 _God_ , she would never tire of hearing his voice...it alone had the power to send her heart thudding...the way it wrapped around words like velvet, could lower to a rumble in his chest, a _growl_...but now it had taken on a new tone...something _softer_ , like a note on an instrument that would only play for her...

"It's just...you're um...the first man to…"

 _...Him?_ The first to...the realization had him completely dumbfounded for a moment... _that_ hadn't occurred to him. Not _really_.

"I'm the _first...for everything?_ "...couldn't keep the shock out of his voice...didn't even try to.

"Yes. I didn't make a habit of walking around nude in the mansion, nor do I do it here. _So…_ "

She felt him hold his breath, felt the stillness of his chest, then he let it out in a slow steady... _almost calculated_ exhale, like he had thoughts leaving his head with it. "...Why me, love?"

Because there was no one on earth that she trusted more, because she knew he wouldn't leave her unappreciated... _because she loved him..._ "I already told you, I trust you."

"You trust a fair handful of people."

" _Yes..._ but not like you. I trust you with my life...I don't see why this is any different."

" _Lizzie…"_

It hit her then, why he was being so persistent in figuring out why...why he'd stiffened behind her...why his tone of voice was changing...he was _afraid_...afraid that he didn't deserve her, afraid that he was going to fail her...and it _broke_ her heart...that he had been taught that he was undeserving of trust...undeserving of _good_ things...of _her_. Jack Sparrow wasn't supposed to be afraid.

" _Jack..._ I am fully prepared to let you be my first. I fail to see _why_ me exposing myself to you is what you are focused on."

 _Oh_...he _hadn't_ been prepared for her to come right out and say that...confirm it...what he had hoped...but still hadn't quite allowed himself to believe just yet…

"...I... _I'm_ not sure that…"

...and it was bloody hard to focus on both his insecurities that were creeping up _and_ maintaining his self-control to avoid doing exactly what she wanted to do without any further preamble. _Why_ did doubt have to creep up now? _Now_ , of all the times...

When his voice faltered, when he sucked in and pushed out a frustrated breath, she stood up for just a moment before climbing back on the bed, one leg on either side of him, and sat right in his lap, bringing her hands up to grasp his face, trying to ignore the blush at _being_ so exposed still…and trying her damnedest to ignore his cock pressing against her with only a thin layer of cloth in the way. " _Stop_ , silly pirate. I have... _never_ felt anything like what you just gave me...that was... _incredible_...you didn't have to do that...you could skip all of this and go straight to the main event...as it were...but... _just...don't_ feel like you aren't the only person in the world that I would trust to do this...because you _are_ the only person in the world I trust for this."

He was watching her...looking like he _wanted_ to believe her...but there was something...still there...in his eyes…he looked nothing like a notorious pirate captain in that moment...only a man what was incredibly worried about something, like it was a dark secret that he had never told anyone.

"I've...I've never taken a woman's virginity before, Lizzie...and...I would hate myself forever if-"

He hadn't. Didn't have the foggiest idea of how much it might hurt, or how to proceed, or...and he _knew_ that he wasn't exactly... _equipped_ to be a woman's first... _that_ process most likely would be helped with something... _smaller_. It didn't help that she was fairly petite. The very idea of hurting her was repulsive to him...almost to the point where he wanted to turn her away until she had lain with someone else...but the idea of being her first was equally attractive as it was terrifying...seemed like a faraway dream that was too good to happen to him.

 _Oh. She hadn't thought of that._

His words were cut off by her mouth suddenly covering his in a soft kiss, her fingers sliding lower to play with his neck... _trying_ to bring him back to her...trying to make _him_ feel safe with _her…_

"I have _faith_ in you, Jack Sparrow. Try having a little bit in yourself. _Now_ ," she continued before he could get another word of argument in, "I have been trying my hardest to ignore... _well_ …"

 _Again_ with that conversation...

Talking about it reminded her of it, and she involuntarily shifted her hips a little, earning her a hiss. "I want to _see_ you, dammit."

The light was returning to his eyes, they were softening again, his shoulders lost their tension...but his breathing was quickened...his arousal had never left...had just had a hand covering its mouth while it struggled to be free... _metaphorically_ speaking, anyway.

"Am I…" he stopped to still her hips, "Am I the first-"

"-Man I am going to lay eyes on?" she finished for him, smiling softly. "No... _well,_ not entirely. I saw...glimpses when I pretended to be a boy on the _Edinburgh Trader_...but...and I even saw a few men...doing _questionable_ things on my nightly adventures in the mansion. It was dark and I didn't stick around to look long enough to...but fully out in the open for my perusal? _Yes_ , you're the first."

A smirk was playing with the corner of his mouth like he was toying with saying something...then a little chuckle tumbled out of him, a distinct sound of ' _no, better not'_...

She was going to be looking for the first time...it would be a new experience for him too, being a point of discovery...

" _Dammit_...you really know how to test the limits of my self-control, love. I am quickly discovering that it is a little vaster than even I thought...but there _is_ a limit-"

She put a finger to his lips, giving him a playful smile of her own...though she couldn't _fathom_ where she was getting the idea that she already knew how to handle his body. "Don't worry, I won't leave you without anything for long. I just want to get a proper look at you. Too much teasing and...glimpses for me…"

"Glimpses?"

"You...on the _island_ , you were just in your shirt and breeches...I stared at your arse quite a bit...you showed me your chest... _more_ of your arm...then that one time when I saw you soaking wet after swimming... _that_ fueled my fantasies for awhile...and your _hands_...I stared at your hands more than I care to admit...but it was like...everything that I hadn't seen was such a _mystery_...oh, you must find me ridiculous…"

But he was only smirking harder, and she had the distinct impression that he was holding in laughter. " _Stared at my arse…_ was that before or after you squawked about me being drunk for three days?"

He recoiled with a snicker when she swatted his shoulder, and then raised an eyebrow when she shifted off of him to finally stand, blushing again when his eyes gave her body a full look, from top to bottom. Suddenly feeling a little brazen, she swept her hair back and stretched, making sure _nothing_ was hidden.

"All this talk about you wanting to see me...do you even realize…I'm still not sure that I'm not dreaming...or hallucinating... _you're perfect_ , Lizzie... _unmatched...unchallenged_...I think this should be hailed at my greatest treasure discovery yet, in fact."

 _Him_ calling her perfect, and all of those other words...then he was standing up, shucking his vest off and throwing it somewhere behind her. _Only two more pieces of clothing to go._ He stepped up to press into her, circling his arms around her again, covering her lips with his, then broke away to whisper in her ear. "Beautiful golden skin, the sun suits you darling, your hair... _these_ ," he paused to slide his hands up her stomach to cup her breasts, "and this," his hand went back down to glide his fingers across her center again, "long legs, and _this_ ," he was grasping her face now with both hands, stroking the tips of his thumbs over her cheekbones, "is the face of an angel."

"I'm no angel, Jack," she murmured, too lost in his eyes to look away from them, too lost in his appraisal of her to really believe that she wasn't angelic.

 _She was_. A ruthless piratical angel, maybe, but she _was._

"You are to me," had her toes curling and a smile splitting her face before she could rein it in.

" _Yes_ , well…"...couldn't formulate anything to say...didn't know how _any_ woman could formulate anything to say in response to being called _angelic_ by Captain Jack Sparrow and have him mean it. "You're overdressed, Captain. The King demands that we fix that problem immediately."

There was a certain kind of power in pushing a pirate captain back against the wall and having her way with him...but she knew that it was only because he was _letting_ her. Jack certainly wasn't the submissive type for just _anyone_.

When his back hit the wall, she stepped back for a second, trying to decide where she wanted to start. Everything about him looked so inviting, so attractive...the bit of leg that was exposed, the tantalizing triangle of chest peeking out through his shirt, his arms, the whipcord muscle, those lovely curved lips...and his _hands_ , the same hands that had just brought her to heaven.

He watched her eyes dance all over his body...she was having the same dilemma as him... _where to start_...he knew a suggestion...one that was aching for her touch...so much so that he feared he might go mad if it was delayed any further...

Stepping forward again so that she was close enough for her breasts to be almost squished against his shirt, she pushed his hands flat with hers laced in them and bent to tentatively touch her tongue to his neck, feeling him twitch... _hearing_ the little noise of appreciation that he gave her. "Thank you, for that."

 _Still_... _still_ couldn't believe she was touching him... _wanted_ to touch him...to _explore_ him...

"For what?" he asked in a low voice as she moved his thick hair to the side to lay soft kisses on the bend of his neck and shoulder, even as her heart started to thud again at the eventual conclusion of this exploration of him. _This was real...it was really happening..._

"Touching me...making me feel _that_...I never brought myself to that level...for being patient with me…and you certainly have a way with words."

There was a smile... _smirk_ on his face, she knew, without even checking…" _No_ , love, I just have a way with _you_ , I think," he replied as she released his hands to place hers on his chest. _His_ heart was thudding too, and it made hers increase...he was fighting himself, for _her_ …

"... _Maybe_ …" was said to his groin as she gazed at it, the need to finally reveal him quickly laying waste to anything else that she wanted to do at that moment. The rest of him could wait. "I...I'm not sure what... _exactly_ how…"

Words were suddenly failing her...not forming themselves in the right order to articulate that she wanted so desperately to please him, but lacked the experience.

The beads in his hair made a little noise when he leaned his head back against the wall, a breath of anticipation making its way out of his mouth, betraying some of the urgency that he was ignoring for her sake. "Lizzie...you…" then he shook his head, making a gesture at his breeches. "Just... _get these off_ …"

A few seconds passed before she remembered that she was a sentient being capable of thoughts and actions, and her hands were shaking...her entire body was _trembling_... _when had that happened_...why were strings so hard to comprehend...fumbling...she was fumbling too much... _distracted_ by the little hissing noises he was making when she grazed him a bit too much…" _Stupid...stupid strings…"_ she complained with a noise of frustration...then strong hands were grasping hers, squeezing them…

"Easy, love…" he whispered, his voice more hoarse than before...a little _ragged_ … _this really was real..._ but her brain wasn't accepting it...that all the fantasies and all the wondering and the... _they were coming to life..._ taking a deep breath, she methodically loosened one string after the other, making a great effort to stay calm...nevermind that she felt like...like someone had offered her a chance to look at her future...or her death...or some other monumental discovery that may or may not... _strange comparisons..._ she heard his whispered " _Christ"_ when his confinement gave way...heard his ragged breaths now...his chest was rising and falling rapidly...he had his eyes closed…

... _maybe_ he was having as hard of a time processing this as she was... _he was trembling too_ …

Just a little more...but she couldn't focus when her heart was... _so fast..._ pounding in her ears...making her chest vibrate and twitch...goosebumps were coming...wave after wave of them…

Just for a moment...for _one_ moment, she closed her eyes, surrounding herself with inky darkness...clearing her head...then placed her hands on either side of his hips, her fingers on the waistband of his breeches...feeling the rough line of them...and shifted her hands down with a quick shove... _but it was more than that_...more than just removing clothing...more than...she felt like she was stepping out of a cave, seeing the rest of the world anew…

...her eyes were still closed...wanted this moment to last as long as possible... _what was she saying_...had wanted this... _him_...for so damn long... _but_...the second she opened her eyes, she could never get the _first_ back...the first time seeing him would be over...and...

...just _touch_ him first…

She was still grasping his hips, she realized with a jolt, his warm skin and lean muscle underneath her hands...her right hand turned into just her fingertips, drifting over... _closer_...just a bit more now... _need to breathe, Elizabeth...but she couldn't...not when she was…_

 _..._ her hand jerked back the second she came into contact...felt the hardness...the _heat_ of him...then he was grasping her hand again just as her courage snapped back to her…" _Won't bite,"_ he was saying...sounding like he was not quite in reality... _needed to be closer to him..._ his chest was still rising and falling with jerky breaths when she touched her forehead to it...the precious moment when she closed her hand around him...when the blush covered her face... _he was so soft...yet so hard...throbbing against her skin...warm like he had been standing next to a fire for too long..._ a new sense of power crystallized all of her thoughts into focus...like she had been bestowed with something inhuman...something otherworldly…

His name fell from her lips, a soft " _Jack_ "...carrying a question...an exclamation...she felt so overwhelmed...as though she had absorbed a large tome of information all at once…"Open your eyes, love," she heard him say...but he sounded far away...the sound of her own labored breathing drowning him out...and the struggle clearly evident in the way he was barely able to form syllables. "Open your eyes," he said again, more of a whisper this time, like he was praying…

The white cloth of his shirt flooded her vision when she obeyed...then she pulled back...only enough to see his face...to see the way he kept swallowing...the way his lips pushed together every time he did it...then the strangled breaths that struggled to escape...and... _god_ he was beautiful...his eyes were closed now... _no_ , she wanted to…

" _Open_ yours too," she whispered against his jaw, laying a soft kiss there a second later.

 _Wasn't sure he could...wasn't sure he could handle her eyes at that moment..._ but he did anyway, to find her face alight with curiosity, excitement...and _still_ , arousal. The fact that she was here, touching him, had her small hand wrapped around his cock so innocently... _Jesus..._

He was still half-lidded, gazing at her...the heat in his eyes giving her a fresh wave of gooseflesh…

 _Touch him,_ she told herself, trying to will movement into her hand...she held his gaze when she stroked her hand down until it stopped...and he held her gaze too...he looked entirely spellbound, at her complete and total mercy...all at once something seemed to shift into place...everything seemed to _make sense_ as she slowly... _gently_ stroked her hand all the way up his length for the first time, then back down, drunk on the pleasure that washed over his face, the whisper of her name...she was barely doing anything…

 _Barely doing anything...how did it feel so...knew it would be good...but this...he hadn't prepared for this..._

...then the urge to explore overtook her, and she uncurled her fingers from him until only one remained. Her other hand found some hidden vestige of strength within her and snuck its way under his shirt, catching the edge of it on the way up, raising it...until it was removed entirely, flying to the side then fluttering to the floor like a white flag of surrender.

He was naked before her, and the knowledge alone rocked her to the core, but she still kept her eyes on his face...wanted to _watch_...even as the tension built between her legs again, a tightening string of desire…

 _Keep still_... _keep still_ was the only thing he could pull out of the thick fog that had permeated his head... _couldn't think...could barely breathe...she was exploring with a delicate touch...not hesitant...just...careful._

The texture of him really was soft, like thin velvet, yet she could feel small contours, a throbbing vein on the underside...a ridge at the tip, then even smoother skin above it...did she dare go lower? _Yes_ , couldn't lose bravery now…the thought that this _was_ Jack she was touching ever present in her mind like a chill that might remind her it was still cold outside, or a wave of heat that might remind her that the Caribbean was still warm.

There were sparse curls at the base...a little more coarse than her own... _lower_...she fumbled a bit until her hand was cupping him, testing the weight of his sac...a little smirk of satisfaction curling the corner of her mouth up when a soft curse slipped past his lips, with an even quieter " _you're trying to kill me_ "...

Finally, the urge to see what she was touching won, bowled her over, and she lowered her gaze from his face, stepping back at the same time enough to really _see_ , and the sight before her had her breath catching in a lurching gasp in her throat, had her mouth dropping open even as her hand flew up to catch her gasp in reflex...had her chest tightening with a strange emotion, like she was looking upon something divine not meant for humans…

...he was sun-browned everywhere, an even smooth coppery tone, his legs were long, but not _thin_...lean muscle...he was smattered with tattoos and scars, and then her brain ceased being able to formulate language to describe him...she was stepping forward again, muttering " _beautiful"_ much the same way he had when looking upon her for the first time…

...and even despite the intense flaming blush she felt heat her face, she really _looked_ , took her time...let her eyes wander over his manhood, noting the size... _certainly not small_ , the colors...flushed a little redder at the tip, the rest a shade lighter than his skin...the sparse black hair at the base... _all for her_...and when she reached for him again, wrapped her fingers around him...the thought that he was _hard_ for her...desired _her_ …set something aflame inside her, a sense of pride, of...almost _celebration_.

...he was _magnificent_.

A soft chuckle had her eyes snapping back up to his face... _had she said that out loud_?

"You _are,_ " she insisted, squeezing her hand gently.

"...wasn't _arguing_ , darling…" then he paused with a soft _"fuck"_ as she started stroking again, experimenting, keeping her touch gentle, slow...dragging her hand from the base to the tip, stroking her fingers over the soft skin there, paying attention to how his hips twitched, noticing that it seemed more sensitive than the rest. Her other hand slithered up his torso to play with his chest, enjoying the solid muscle of it...but something was nagging at her, the ache between her legs...she wanted to _please_ him...to make him fall apart…

...but _how_?

Leaning forwards, spurred by some new kind of bravery, a trait that was multiplying within her as every second passed, she whispered against his Adam's apple.

"I want to make you...to make you _come_ ,"...ignored the blush that was surely getting darker, then, "but I…"

His reactions to everything that she was doing, everything that was happening, were getting more and more fascinating, _intoxicating_. Suddenly his hands were on her back pushing her closer to him, and he was kissing her face, nibbling at her ear…"You could just keep on doing that, wouldn't take much,"...his voice had dropped even lower, into a rumble, like he was falling further into the physical realm.

" _Jack_ ," she pleaded, wanting _more_ , wanting...just _wanting_ …" _Show me."_

He pulled back to look into her face, stilling her stroking at the same time...his mouth opened then closed again...convulsively swallowed...took a deep breath that had his shoulders rising and falling...he was _struggling_ with something. " _What_?"...it sounded more like a person frustrated with being interrupted than it did genuine concern, but…

"...just, thought about this more times than numbers exist to count them all, but now... _Christ_...not sure if you...afraid that I might have led myself around under false pretenses…"

Could still form language...sentences... _for now_. For now.

"What do you mean?" she asked at the same time as she cupped his sac again, making her giggle despite herself when a pained look crossed his face.

" _Murder...this is going to end in murder is what I mean_. I...normally I would be fine with skipping this and focusing on you...but...I want it to last more than two minutes, so maybe it's best if…"

What he was trying to communicate...she understood, but not _really._

"What... _what_ are you saying?" she asked again. His hand wrapped around hers, stilling her movements for the second time with a quiet "can't think when you're doing that".

"...what I'm saying is that when I'm inside of you, if it's not over quicker than you have a chance to really experience anything, it probably just killed me altogether. Best to take the edge off…"

 _Him being inside of her_...imagining his body that close, his warmth...it knocked her silent for a moment, especially now that she could finally see _what_ he was going to put inside her...it did indescribable things to her insides, things that surely weren't explained or explored in any books...there was a word for it... _maybe..._ but even _possession_ didn't expand the breadth of it.

"Why?"...it was more at this point just enjoying watching him get frustrated with her questions than it was purely not understanding.

For a moment, he reflected on the ridiculousness of her question, as someone who had bedded more women than he could count, prided himself on his ability to last...that it was _her_ , _she_ was the reason he was in danger of losing his mind, even now.

"...because it's _you_ , Lizzie darling, it's _you_ …"

The scope of his desire for her hadn't...hadn't been... _did he really want her that bad?_ Something changed then, the crispness of the air in the room, _smoky_...the prickle of gooseflesh, the thickness of her throat...the heat of the breath trapped in her chest…

" _What do you want me to do?_ "...understand, Jack, understand that I will give you anything you want, anything you ask me…

Like someone touching a precious gemstone, he traced her lips, a soft smile of surrender upon his own…

The worst she can do is say _no_ , Jack...please _god_ , please don't say no…

"Your _mouth_ , darling, I need your _mouth_ ,"...he didn't even care if it sounded like he was begging at this point, _liked_ that she made him beg…heard her tiny " _oh_ ", and saw her gaze slip down again...she needed to stop looking at him like that...like he was _edible_...then watched with naked fascination and no amount of hidden surprise when she was lowering...sinking down to her knees in front of him…

...if he survived this...there might be a god after all...or several…

Her fingers inched forwards, feeling the air of the room rush through them...then she was grasping him again...heard his sharp intake of breath...pushed her other hand against his hip, _marveled_ at the way his body was suddenly tense, _taut_ , even _trembling_...the breath from her own mouth left in puffs, quicker and shorter the closer her lips got to him...until only an inch or two remained.

Did she have enough courage to talk to him...to…

... _yes..._ she _had to_...he had set the bar in this game...set the rules...she was a _King_ , not some peasant...and she was not going to let him outperform her on this battlefield.

Strong fingers curled around her shoulders gently...she swung her gaze up to find him watching her...a beautiful satyr surrendering...a man in control of everything looking upon his weakness with pride... _fascination_...his black eyes were glittering, chips of onyx glowing orange with the candlelight...there was a heaviness in them...like a world bathed in thick opium smoke lied within…

...still watching her as she leaned forward to close the small distance...hovering with her lips a hair's breadth away from his length...then with a swell of heat in her chest...of _excitement_ , she placed a kiss on him...a soft kiss, but one imbued with her willingness to bring him to that knife edge of pleasure...sweep him over it like a wave crashing over a ship…

"Do you want to know why I was so drawn to you at first?" she whispered with a husk to her voice, her own desire curling around the words, trailing more kisses down, then back up, not waiting for an answer. "Your _power_...the power of a _pirate captain_...danger seemed to follow you...it attracted me...your _authority,_ it was so alluring...and you had this depth to you...I wanted to _drown_ …"

A tentative flick of her tongue just under the hood at the tip, then another, lingering for a second longer...flicking back a third time to stay, trailing back and forth...his hands tightened on her shoulders…"I always liked seeing you in your full uniform, with your hat and coat...and the rest of your clothes...your bandanna...all of your beads...your ridiculous belts...everything about you has a story…," her right hand left his hip to return to his sac, massaging gently...a smile playing on her lips when she heard a soft release of breath...not _quite_ a moan, but it still made gooseflesh wash over her skin.

" _Lots_ ," he agreed on the edge of a swallow.

Another heavy breath left his parted mouth when she swirled her tongue in a dance from tip to base. "I want to hear _all_ of them...I could listen to you tell me stories from dawn until dusk…"

More kisses, flicks of her tongue...then she wrapped her lips around the middle of his shaft and sucked, laving her tongue in the center, glancing up to his face to find his head thrown back against the wall, his mouth slack...she wanted _more_ …drunk on the ache between her legs...growing stronger just from touching him.

"I wonder how many times you thought about my lips...my tongue licking you...my mouth around you...how hard did you get? _Like this_?" she whispered with a curious squeeze on his shaft. "So hard that you could barely stand it...you touched yourself to the thought, didn't you...your hand wrapped around,"...a kiss pressed to the tip as her hand stroked…"you thrusting into it, whispering my name, head thrown back against your pillow…"

Driven by some devilish urge to _tease_ , she abandoned his cock and trailed kisses along his thigh instead, still stroking him with her hand. "Did you say my name when you came? Did you _shout_ it...whisper it like a prayer in the wind...I always loved your voice you know...the way it can be commanding... _sarcastic_ …"

She switched to the other thigh, pausing to smile when she heard a whispered " _please_ ".

 _No._ She wanted him entirely lost first.

"I used to imagine what you looked like here... _especially_ after being on that ship...once I _knew_...I wondered...you were already _perfect_ , with your beautiful dark eyes, copper skin...dark hair...your _hands_...I thought about…" another blush colored her cheeks, but she kept going, couldn't stop even if she wanted to…"About how _thick_ you might be...how _big..._ thought about how you would feel inside me…"

Then she did return to his length, swirling her tongue again. "Thought about doing _this_ to you, about how you would react to pleasure...your feathers being ruffled,"... _that_ brought another smile to her face, "... _but_ , I think my favorite fantasy was going back to our island...it would be a lovely starry night...you would make love to me right on the beach, the _Pearl_ in the distance and nothing but the two of us and the sea...perfect, I think."

Sitting back for a moment, she stared up at him...waiting for his eyes to flicker open. "It _would_ be," he whispered, smiling a little, his voice deepened, a rough husky growl. _Let him wait for a moment...let him think that he...don't let him expect it..._ one hand curled around his hip again, softly caressing him there, playing with the _v_ of muscle, sliding around to tentatively touch her fingertips to his arse, lingering for only a second, then returning.

His eyes were closed again... _good_...she licked her lips and prepared for her task, trying to ignore the way she was shivering... _trembling_ from the thrill, the _hysteria_ of what she was about to do. Wrapping her hand around the base of his shaft, giving him another gentle squeeze, she rose a little higher on her knees and brought the tip to her lips, kissing it, then swirling her tongue again... _he had no idea_ …

...slowly...savouring him...ingraining the moment in her mind, she let the first inch sink into her mouth...a half second passed before the most delicious noise she had ever heard came out of him, a _moan_ , a deep throaty noise that had a surge of heat blooming in her chest and a rush of wetness pooling at her core.

 _Never thought he would be here...never thought she would be doing this...never imagined it would feel like this..._

His hands abandoned her shoulders to thread into her hair, and she glanced up again to find him watching her...he was completely gone now, possessed…

A victim staring down at his executioner with the equivalent of a smile on his face...

She retracted for only a second to ask him in as sultry a voice as she could muster, " _Show me._ "

 _Show...show...didn't know how to explain to her that she...that it...so good already..._

A deep inhale, held in his chest, then a careful exhale out like he was afraid he was never going to be able to breathe again...he leaned his head back against the wall, gently pushing on the back of her head. _Oh_ , she understood the point...just barely managed to resist letting a grin split her face...and then she had him in her mouth again, only the first inch...and _waited_ , her hand sliding up to his abdomen to find his muscles quivering.

" _Down...slowly_ ,"...his vocal chords had become dysfunctional, the words were made out of pure breath. " _Only...only…"_ then his head shook...but she understood... _only as much as you can take._

 _His control over his own body was quickly slipping, a leaking boat sinking rapidly into the sea..._

And she did take him, slid her mouth down his shaft, feeling the hardness, the heat of him... _down_...she must have three inches now... _down more_...four inches...and waited again, his next words coming on the edge of an inhale...he was holding his breath…" _Up...back up…"_

 _She was perfect...so bloody perfect...his King..._

Mesmerized with the way his was still playing with her hair, like he was _worshipping_ her, what she was doing, she obeyed, stroked back until just the tip was enveloped... _oh...she got it..._ stroked down, then up again...on impulse she sucked on him, and it earned her another beautiful noise, a low growl...his hands tightened in her hair...she tried to go further on her next stroke... _five inches_...swirled her tongue around him, massaging him with it... _back up_...and then had a rhythm…

 _Falling...oh god yes...she was moaning...Christ...he bloody loved her...loved her so much...his angel, heart thief...blasted woman..._

...she felt _high,_ like nothing could touch her...all that mattered was Jack...and to her shock, _she_ moaned around him when her name tumbled out of his mouth, followed by a low chant of smoky words…"darlin'" and "love"...all breathy whispers of pleasure...pride clenching her chest at it being _her_ giving him this... _her_ that he was opening himself up to. Her strokes sped up, her moans vibrating onto his velvety shaft...his skin was so hot...when her hand wrapped around his sac, she realized it was tightening...never thought doing this for him could bring _her_ so much pleasure...he was chanting her name now...getting louder and more urgent...his hands were starting to curl around her hair…

...suddenly his hips were twitching...he was trying to thrust, she realized... _no_ , she didn't need help, wanted it to be _only_ her that made him tip over the edge...held him against the wall with a hand on his hip...but he didn't protest, only kept chanting her name like it was the only word he knew...the only sound he could make…

...she pulled away for a moment, letting him pop free from her mouth, intent on giving him one final toss of oil onto the bonfire that was raging inside of him. "I want you to _come_ for me, Jack."

Her words set something aflame inside of him...something primal and uncontrolled...he felt the tension in his body rising, the little convulsions...felt heat wash over his skin...

His body slipped a little down the wall, like his knees couldn't support him anymore, and then she had him back in her mouth, sliding down as much of his shaft as she could, pulling back, sucking...letting her tongue play along the underside...she felt the muscles underneath her hand tensing...convulsing...his breathing was out of control, heavy ragged inhales...then he wasn't making any noise at all...his hands were tugging on her hair urgently…

 _Can't...can't...warn her...have to warn her...can't come in her mouth Jack..._

A panicked _"Lizzie"_ was groaned out, but she didn't relinquish him... _couldn't_...could only sink him into her mouth as far as he could go…

 _Too late…too late...felt the familiar ache below, the blinding rush of heat..._

...when his hand fisted in her hair, when the muscle she touched went rigid...when his shaft went rigid inside of her mouth... _then_ , when a strangled cry was ripped from him...she _knew_ , she had brought him there...kept rhythm with him when he surged against her and then convulsed...kept him buried in her mouth as he came, his hot release bursting into her...she took all of it, trying very hard not to cough, even as it seemed to go on forever until he finally slumped against the wall, leaving her with a frightening ache between her legs.

She gently let him slip from her mouth when he twitched for the last time, and it seemed that the final stroke sapped him of whatever strength he had left; he slid down the wall...boneless and satiated, taking heaving breaths, his chest rising and falling, his hair trinkets clinking when he finally came to rest on his arse. His legs rested on either side of her, and all she could do was sit there and wait, watching him...his skin gleamed with a sheen of sweat, his eyebrows were drawn together from the exertion of his orgasm, and he was _panting_.

Satisfaction settled in her chest, and the feeling that she was trying so desperately to both indulge in and ignore... _love_...she had given him that ultimate pleasure...had made him fall apart...had turned him into _this_ , a man with no walls, no guards up... _nothing_.

 _Was still alive...could barely breath...breathing almost hurt...burned his chest...but he was still alive...somehow...had never felt it that powerful, almost painful...but god it was glorious._

The sight of him, spent and vulnerable, the captain edge gone...he was just _Jack_ , _for her_ , because of _her_. It almost brought tears to her eyes...not so long ago, he would barely look at her...sent her away every time...and now he was sitting in front of her in the afterglow and _god_ he looked beautiful...his cheeks were flushed, his face was slowly fading from the almost pained look he wore to something...tranquil.

Then his hand reached out towards her, she took it without even thinking about it... _it was trembling_ , and let him tug her into his lap, her legs coming to rest on either side of his hips, her core nestled against his softened manhood, making her gasp just a _little_. When he was satisfied that she was close enough, his wiry arms slid around her and pulled her torso against him, her head coming to rest against his shoulder. She slid her arms around him as well, enjoying the muscles in his back that were still twitching, both from his breathing and from his orgasm.

One of his fingers started to twirl a piece of her hair, wrapping it around, then letting it go again, repeating the motion for some time, his other fingers brushing the skin of her back in deliberate caresses. Slowly, his breathing started to even out, he started to calm...whispered something, but she wasn't prepared for him to speak, didn't quite catch what he said.

" _Hmm?_ " she murmured, keeping her head where it was.

"I said... _I said_ that I _tried_ to warn you, but…"

Adorable silly pirate...how was this man capable of having so many different sides to him…

"...but you didn't listen...didn't move…" he was still saying, sounding like he still had to put in some effort to speak, quieting anyway when she raised a hand without looking to place a finger against his lips.

"Oh, _Jack_...I meant to...to... _well_ , I meant to…"-this was _ridiculous, couldn't even describe what she had just done_ -"to do what I did," she finished lamely, a blush staining her cheeks. He chuckled but tried to smother it with a small cough. "The _word_ you are looking for is _swallow_ , darling, but you... _wait_ , what did you say?"

He did nudge her back then, enough to see her face, a mixture of disbelief and fascination in his eyes.

"I _said_ I meant to. _And_ before you start to argue... _I know_ you are going to try and tell me that I don't need to... _swallow_ , or some other tripe," she paused to reach out and trail a finger around his face, over his mustache, his lips, "...but that was the first orgasm I gave you...and I wanted to experience _all_ of it."

Her willingness to do... _everything_ was astonishing to him...made him wonder...had he awoken this in her? This drive...this yearning to learn, to _see_?

Apparently, his silence was taken as resistance...he didn't even realize he had been silent for more than a few seconds...because her next question had him stunned into an even deeper silence.

"Didn't...did I...did I do something wrong?"

At first, he didn't comprehend it, couldn't wrap his head around anything she had just done being _wrong_ , or how she could possibly think so...but then...it was her first time doing almost anything...his reaction...she thought he was _annoyed_ with her.

"Lizzie," he started, trying to collect his thoughts, words, taking her face in his hands at the same time, "that...that was...well, to be completely honest that was the best I've ever had."

She didn't believe him at first. How could it be possible that _she_ had given him...he was trying to make her feel better, trying to raise her confidence...but then the stark honesty in his eyes, a new thing for her to see, made her wonder…

It should frighten him, confessing that. He was giving her power, telling her that she had a kind of power over him...except he found that it didn't frighten him in the least...he trusted her, more than he maybe should, and _that_ did actually scare him...it felt like he was giving over the helm of the _Pearl_ to someone else.

The only response from her was a quiet " _oh_ " as her fingers continued to dance over his chest, still marveling that he was finally here for her now, as strange as their position was at the moment, with him sitting against a wall and her sitting on top of him.

"Well," she said, louder this time, in her special 'I'm going to argue some more now' tone of voice, "I didn't mind it."

Either she really just didn't want to admit that she had found it entirely repulsive, or she was about to cement her perfection to him in further... _hadn't really expected that to be possible_.

" _Most_ women do mind it. They only do it... _usually_ because the paying customer asks for it."

"I'm _not_ most women," she snapped, her eyes flashing. He only chuckled in response, inclining his head at her in agreement.

Then suddenly her mouth was covering his in a soft kiss, reminding him of the task that was before him, that had been consuming most of his thoughts, both with trepidation and elation.

She wanted so desperately to tell him she loved him, to explain to him that she would give him anything he wanted, do anything he wanted, go anywhere with him, but her reluctance to ruin the perfect moment, the mercy that the world had taken on her, the relief of her longing...she couldn't do it.

 _Maybe someday._

"What now?" was all she could ask when she broke away, the question holding more weight than she was comfortable with, because she knew the answer, but did not know the path to get there...she liked to think she knew...but this was all so new to her still, so unfamiliar that all she could do was trust him to guide her through it all. He was going to take her virginity, she was finally going to have her beautiful guarded aloof unflappable pirate captain inside of her, and he was going to be _only_ for her...open to her like a conquered book...except she didn't think he could ever be really _conquered_...read, maybe...but not ever fully understood. It was all the more confirmed to her when she couldn't read the answer in his eyes, couldn't figure out what direction his thoughts were taking at that moment.

"Now I wake up and discover that this was all some overly pleasant dream that my brain tricked me into believing was real."

 _Oh, Jack..._

But he didn't sound depressed, or bitter, or anything, simply like he still didn't believe she was here with him letting him touch her.

He still wasn't sure that his words weren't true, but the pretty smile that spread across her face had him coming quite close to it.

"It's _not_ ," she insisted, adding emphasis with a twitch of her hips. "But it does seem a little surreal, doesn't it? I still remember us dancing around each other on the _Pearl_... _honor, decency and moral centers..._ seems so silly now-"

"-Let's not forget," he cut in with a sly grin, "that it was those three things that you claim initially steered you away from me. _Never put you in a position that would compromise your honor_ indeed. _Quite surreal_."

The memory had her kissing him again as if to erase the notion that she hadn't wanted him, that she hadn't been utterly consumed by thoughts of him, even then.

 _What now?_

They had survived the Royal Navy, Beckett, themselves, a fair helping of denial, William Turner, a Kraken, a few ship battles, jail, the gallows, Davy Jones, and countless other ridiculous obstacles to get to this point, and the weight of that...the significance of them both being alive and here was not lost on him.

But he had to make sure, had to make sure she was truly willing to go through with this, because if he took her and she regretted it, it would kill him. Not that he wasn't reasonably confident of her willingness, but he needed to _hear it_. Again.

"I... _Lizzie_...I need to you tell me that you want this...that...I don't want to wake up terrified that you…" then he shook his head, frustrated with himself.

 _Even now_ , he was still afraid that she was going to get up and walk away. She needed to banish that thought. _Now_.

" _Jack_ , I am fully prepared to let you lay me on that bed, and I am fully prepared to let you take my virginity, and there is nothing on this green... _and_ blue earth that will get in our way."

She said it in a tone that held no amount of hesitation or uncertainty, but still felt the need to add something else. "And if we do wake up and I'm fleeing your bed, just assume that some other woman has taken possession of my body and I have been lost, because there is _nothing_ in this world that could make me regret you."

Before he could say anything, she kissed him again, saying what she couldn't say with words.

"But...I'm not going to lie and say that it doesn't... _make me nervous_ ," she hesitated to use the words _scare me_. "I...I don't-"

"-Neither do I, Lizzie…"

There was a quiver in his voice that betrayed his worry, that he had been worried about it the entire time.

"...but I _promise_ you, you're _safe_ with me. I may be a pirate...I may lie, cheat, and steal, and I may be selfish sometimes, but I _can't_ be...can't be selfish with you, _definitely_ not with this."

There was a seriousness in his eyes, a swirling calm, like that was the only thought occupying his mind...it astonished her how he could be a _captain_ , a powerful figure like that...be so commanding and so...guarded... _yet_ , so considerate of her, so entirely _unselfish_...and she also knew that this was completely new territory for him, being responsible for another person's well being...for their _comfort_.

"I _know._ "

He felt like she was putting too much faith in him...but he also knew that she wasn't stupid and that if she believed him capable of pulling her through it, then perhaps he was. If he could... _yes_...if he could distract her beforehand...touch her...get her worked up with pleasure, then she would be too eager to really worry about the pain…

' _I do want to know what it tastes like…'_

The memory had a genuine smile spreading across his face, making her light up with curiosity.

"What are you smiling at?"

Upon seeing it, _his smile_ , she realized that she had never seen him with a real smile...not a smirk, not a half-smile...but a smile of mirth, of _happiness_...it sent something fluttering inside of her.

A little laugh left him too before he answered, trailing a lazy finger up and down her side at the same time. "Just...that conversation we had, about curiosity and how much you were worried about me being a _good man_ seems to keep coming up."

"What do you mean?"

His head tilted back to rest against the wall as he regarded her with a calculating searching look. " _Well_ , the lovely thing about words is that they can mean different things. For instance, _treasure_ can mean gold coins and gemstones...and it can also mean _you_...the ocean can mean just a large expansive body of water...or it can mean freedom...and when talking about what being a good man tastes like...I could mean something entirely different when I say that I _do_ want to know what it tastes like."

He thought she was comparable to treasure, that she _was_ treasure. _That_ slowed her brain down too much to process anything else he had said until…

"You...are you saying…" she babbled, suddenly too discomfited by the very _idea_ that he was implying to attempt any further speech. She had suspected... _wondered_ if that was what he had meant, and then had wondered if such a thing was even done...and it was only her ridiculous wanton desire for anything _Jack_ that had her wondering in the first place, back then. And she was wondering now again, _how would it work_...his mouth _there_...his tongue...the image had her eyes slipping closed like she was abruptly drowsy... _overwhelmed…_

When he stayed silent... _she had expected him to finish her sentence_ , her eyes fluttered open to find him watching her with a smirk and a sparkle of satisfaction in his eyes that clearly said 'well, go on'.

 _Damn him_.

Taking a deep breath, she gathered her stubbornness, and her resolve to _not_ act like an almost entirely inexperienced virgin.

"You're saying...that you want to know what _I_ taste like? That's what you were implying before…"

The smirk on his lips curved up even more, making him look like the cat that got the cream.

" _Aye_ , and the _wanting_ had plagued me since then...I'm almost tired of thinking about it at this point...the imagination is only so effective…"

"But...wouldn't that delay…" and then she answered her own question when she shifted her hips…

"... _oh._ "

He snickered at her, but it was combined with a look of wonder in his eyes at the innocence she still had with some things. "Hard to make love to you when... _well_ , when it's not hard."

Snickering turned into full-blown belly laughter at her fierce blush.

 _Damn him twice,_ but her entire world seemed like it was perfect when he laughed.

"Besides that, it'll make... _after_ easier for you, at least I hope."

"...oh," she said for the second time, feeling wildly out of her depth, then reminding herself that he was wildly out of his depth with some things at the moment too, and he seemed to be doing just _fine_.

" _Oh_ ," he mocked, before leaning forward and taking her mouth again in a slow kiss. "Go sit on the bed, love."

 _Go sit on the bed._

 _The bed._

 _The…_

"As my _captain_ commands," and it was said with every ounce of false confidence that she could drag up, because she rather felt like a leaf that might get swept up with a gust of wind. Rising from him, she stepped over his leg to make her way to the bed, crawling across it until she was sitting cross-legged in the center, smoothing the covers out around her, and then glancing up to…

... _to…_

 _She hadn't been prepared for that._

 _For any of it, not the lean length of his legs, not the way his black hair hung down to the middle of his back, a stark contrast to the golden color of his skin, made even more exquisite in the light of the room...and certainly not his perfectly sculpted arse...at this point she was convinced that he must turn into an ugly monster once a week to counteract it...no man should be allowed to be that ravishing._

And then she saw them...raised white slashes across the skin of his back, partially obscured by his hair…

 _...lash marks…there must be at least eight of them…_

The little sharp intake of breath from her direction was hard to miss...she had seen them...but he just hoped she didn't choose now to ask about them, not that he was sure he was willing to divulge their origin anyway.

Her chest clenched for him before she could restrain it... _how could they do that to him..._ but she pretended like she had seen nothing when he turned around, holding something in his hand. Trying very hard to keep her eyes on his face, which was more challenging than it ought to be, she eyed the object as he stepped closer.

"What's that?"

" _This_ is oil," he responded, brandishing the...jar she realized, at her.

"Oil? What for?"

He was smirking again, the damnable man. _Stop finding so much enjoyment in my lack of experience Jack, or you will get yours from me someday._

"Not going to use it quite yet, but just one more thing to ease the way."

" _Ease the…_ " her voice caught as several different possibilities occurred to her, and she asked her immediate burning question before she could drag the words back into her mouth. "Did you use it...on _yourself_?"

His eyebrows shot up above his bandanna, before he snickered again, shaking his head. "You're so _smart_ , love. Indeed, otherwise, I would have a bit of...of um... _friction burn_." He stopped to gauge her reaction, standing at the foot of the bed now. " _But_ , some men use it for other reasons."

"Like?"

That perfectly curved mouth of his opened and closed several times, with little noises of hesitation…" _How to explain…"_ he mumbled to himself. " _The..._ the...bugger it... _ha_ , word choice...anyway, when men _fuck_ ," he stopped again to suck back laughter at her face, which was a cross between intrigued and shocked, "not much can happen without this. _That_ orifice is a fair bit tighter than yours."

The question hung in the air without her even needing to ask it, and he answered, grinning like a fool afterward at her.

" _No_ , I have not indulged in such lewd interactions with my gender, but that doesn't mean that I haven't seen it being done. Men get lonely aboard a ship."

He stepped around to set the jar on her little table next to the bed and then came back, her eyes following his movements as he knelt next to the bed. His hand slid up the covers to lay flat, his finger curling towards him. "C'mere love."

Swiftly being reminded of what was going to happen next made her heart jump in her chest, freezing for a moment, then showering her insides in excitement and a million other things that she couldn't name. She scooted almost to the edge of the bed, coming to a rest in front of him. The softness was back in his face...with the taunting of an expert to novice hidden just in the periphery of those deep brown eyes painted with kohl.

The palms of his hands came to lay flat on her hips, and he gently pulled her to the very edge, her legs staying closed out of pure nervous energy. But he didn't seem concerned with that just yet as he placed soft kisses on one knee, moving down her leg like he had all the time in the world. She was unable to take her eyes off of him as he switched to the other leg, the scratch of his beard a welcome sensation. _How was it going to feel against…_

Then it occurred to her...the _intimacy_ of him seeing her _there_...though she couldn't fathom why it made her nervous...perhaps it was just the exposure... _oh for bloody heaven's sake he is going to be inside of you before the night is through...get ahold of yourself…_

" _Jack_ ,"...she was running out of patience, but she had no idea what she was impatient for, knew nothing about what he was going to do to her...he stopped kissing her skin and swung his gaze back to her face, regarding her with nearly all-black eyes.

" _Patience_ , darling."

 _Patience...how did he expect her to have patience when all she could think about was how his tongue was going to feel…_ he was saying something but her brain had stopped having the ability to process words for a moment.

"...what?"

"I _said_ ," he paused to smile at her, " _lie back_."

 _Lie back_...but then she couldn't see what he was doing...couldn't watch...she _wanted_ to watch…and she had apparently been shaking her head the entire time in a _no._

"As you were, love, but don't complain when your arms go out from under you."

The scowl she gave him was a peculiar one, half overtaken by anticipation and anxious energy. "And no need to be nervous darling," he reassured her, and then curled his hands around her thighs, her heart suddenly hammering in her chest with a fierce rhythm, her fingers gripping the covers as he gently, _slowly_ parted her legs, the entire heavy strength of his gaze focused on her... _oh god_ , _being looked at like that…it made her shiver._

It was only the burning sensation in his throat that reminded him to breathe, and even then he couldn't quite muster up the strength to do it... _so pretty, so...almost heartbreakingly perfect...a soft pink, glistening with arousal in the dim candlelight. Wet for him..._

When he glanced back up at her face, nothing more than a flash of his eyes, the _burning_ she saw did have her arms going weak under her, her elbows slipping a little, and he still kept staring, _looking_...to the point where she started to squirm. "You've seen one before…" came out of her...perhaps it was her trying to ease the heat of the moment...or even trying to have a little modesty...either way, it earned her a soft chuckle.

" _You're daft_ if you really think...I might as well have not seen any. They don't compare anyway."

Still watching him, she took in his bandanna again, the way it wrapped around his forehead just above his eyebrows, his hair, how some of it was still loose amongst the dreadlocks and braids, the pitch black color of it...his broad shoulders... _marveled_ at the way he was built...the perfect amount of muscle definition…

" _Daft_ like you, Jack," she responded with a grin to herself, then he was suddenly moving, lifting her legs to rest on his shoulders, scooting a little closer to her. "Mmm," he was humming against the soft skin of her inner thigh, maybe he was agreeing, maybe not... _didn't really care at that moment_.

" _God yes_ ," she gasped when the tip of his finger slid up the length of her slit, a languid touch, but being able to _see_ him doing it, watching his hand on her...it stirred things in her that she didn't know...couldn't even begin to understand…

He carefully dipped his finger inside of her entrance, being mindful of the angle, a bit sharper this time...losing himself for a second when he felt her inner muscles grip at him... _she was so tight_...so damn _wet_...could probably take her now if he wanted... _no_ , need her to be at that edge of pleasure again, so distracted that she didn't notice…

Withdrawing, he traveled back up her center, pausing at the top to trail his finger in lazy circles around her clit, enjoying the way her hips immediately bucked against him, the way her thighs clenched against his shoulders, the sweet gasp that spilled out of her.

Ignoring the way her arms were starting to quiver from muscle ache, she watching his head inch closer to her, watched his eyes, watched his fingers spread her open just enough to expose her clit, and then felt her chest drop when all the air was expelled from it in a harsh exhale as she watched his tongue flick out to her heated flesh, her head falling back in abandon. And he didn't stop, sliding his finger back inside of her and swirling his tongue around her nub at the same time, bringing her to fever pitch again with so _little…_

Then his tongue abandoned her clit and trailed down the length of her before withdrawing his fingers and... _oh my god_...she forgot to breathe as he slipped his tongue into her entrance, just before the sensation disappeared entirely.

He looked up at her when he drew back, took in her flushed chest, hardened nipples, parted mouth, hooded eyes... _she looked edible now_ , especially in the midst of sexual frustration.

" _More_ ," was all she could demand, all she could force her brain to form... _more._

The plan to just prepare her was nearly forgotten by the image of making her come with his mouth on her... _later_.

"As my _King_ demands," he whispered, smirking at her.

She watched him descend once more, but this time there were no teasing flicks, no... _oh_ , this... _this was…_

For the last few moments that she was able to hold herself upright, the sight of his neat mustache... _his face_ buried there did send her down to the bed, her back arching up and her hands shooting down to grasp the sides of his head, utterly lost to the sensations he was creating, his hands curled around her to hold her still for him.

The more lost to pleasure she became, the more her stomach tightened and convulsed with her attempts to thrust at him, the harder he got until it was almost painful. _Almost time…_ she was so close now...when he heard her breath catch and stay silent, he stopped, smiling at her whimper of protest.

Just for a moment, he knelt there and took stock of everything, of what was about to happen, of what had already happened...basking in the glory of it...his luck had _never_ been this good…

He rose and crawled up the bed. " _Why...why did you…"_ she was whispering, but he hushed her with a soft " _shhh"_ and reached over her to get the jar of oil, unscrewing it and getting a generous amount on his fingers, feeling her hands already starting to explore him in a desperate frenzy to fill the void left by her near-climax, nearly forgetting himself when she reached down to grasp his erection, his body slipping a little, the reality of this battle settling in him...she shook her head feverishly when he reached down to pull her hand away, slicking himself with the oil, and rubbing a little across her as an afterthought.

His heart was suddenly throbbing in his chest, hammering against his ribcage...thoughts became distant...ethereal, swirling around in his head and disappearing... _control...need to control…_

Her head pressed into the pillow when she finally felt the full weight of his body atop hers... _so warm...she wanted him inside...needed him…his hips fit perfectly into the curve of hers..._

"Just hang on, love," he was whispering to her, but she felt like she had something under her skin...making her _burn...tremble...fire...there was fire inside of her body and she didn't care in the least...she felt his fingers at her entrance, felt him gently spread her open, looked just in time to see him slide the tip of his shaft along her until he was pressed against her…_

 _...everything felt so real...the shallow breaths she was forcing from her lungs, every single goosebump...the swell every time her heart labored with another beat...the tremors in her hands when she slid them around his back...his dark eyes staring down at her, the emotion in them sending something quivering inside of her...the nakedness in his face...the hardness of him below…_

 _...she thought she might be whispering "please"...didn't know...lifted up without pausing to think when his fingers nudged her back, his arms sliding under her when he had enough room...thought he might be whispering her name...didn't know...just wanted him inside…_

Wild emotion clenched at his chest, spreading everywhere...making him shiver and burn with frightening intensity...the wet heat of her against him...her breasts heaving underneath of him with each labored breath...her eyes gazing up at him...her cheeks flushed... _so beautiful…_

Her head angled up to meet him when he pressed his mouth against hers, then just held it there, unable to pull it away, yet unable to summon the focus to keep kissing her when he rocked his hips forward and felt the tightness of her around him... _pay attention to her_ …

...pushed forwards another inch, felt himself slipping...the control sliding through his fingers... _Christ, she was so warm...so tight wrapped around him...tighter than anything he had ever felt...pinpricks of pain suddenly managed to pierce the fog of his brain...her nails…then a gasp of pain fell from her lips..._

 _All she could feel was the sensation of tearing...of stretching...a stinging pain that had her fighting to make it stop...but somewhere some part of her knew it was necessary, could barely remember why..._

It brought the moment into heightened focus, elevated... _he stopped_ , took great heaving breaths, rested his forehead against her shoulder for a moment, fighting the hardest struggle he had ever experienced... _distract her...couldn't go on watching her in pain…_

 _Like a faraway light in the distance she felt a small wave of pleasure, felt something rubbing at her...his fingers were touching her...Jack was touching her...he was inside of her, not very far, but the thought alone was enough to force her eyes open, to feel his fingers stroking her face too...his left arm still cradling her…_

" _Relax, love...it's me, you're safe with me, remember?"_

His body was so warm against hers…" _Let me see you_ ," she managed to say, wanting to look at his face.

The braids and beads in his hair tickled her skin when he raised his head to stare down at her, nearly withdrawing and backing away at the sight of tears leaking out of her eyes. " _Lizzie_ ," was all he could force out...shaking his head in defeat despite himself…

...like a brave war cry from a lone soldier in the battlefield of a thousand men, he heard her quiet " _please don't stop_ "...he kept shaking his head... _there was no other way, either finish it Jack or never be able to look at her face again...he needed to distract her…_

He leaned down to kiss her again... _talk to her...say something…_

...Maybe... _that could work…_

" _...Lizzie, look at me…"_

Her caramel eyes focused on him, her fingernails lifting from his back...her breathing was calming a little, for now. "Remember our island?" he said quietly, stroking the tears away, smoothing her hair from her face.

It didn't hurt as much now that he wasn't moving...there was still a sting, but...was he saying something? _Remember our island…_ of course she remembered it...how could she forget that maddening experience...

" _Yes_ ," whispered with a shaky nod, feeling his thumb rubbing her softly again.

"We danced around the-" he choked on his words when he focused all of his concentration on sliding another inch inside without losing his mind…"-around...around the fire...remember...look at me, open your eyes,"...they had squeezed shut again, he needed to keep her focused on him…" _Remember...like we were never going to see civilization again,"..._ sweat was prickling at his skin...he was trying his damnedest to ignore how she felt inside until he was no longer causing her pain...she was nodding, her hand coming up to stroke his face too, as though he was the one who was crying. Her body accepted a little more, he saw the tightening of her eyebrows, leaned down to kiss her again. "We sang your ridiculous song...you... _you...Christ...you pretended to be drunk…"_

He was quickly running out of words...like the entirety of the English language was disappearing from his mind with every agonizingly long second that passed. _Halfway...he was halfway inside...just a little more...then he met something...a barrier, and froze…_

She felt him stop again...pushed her fingers into his back, trying to tell him to keep going...that she was alright…"My song wasn't... _isn't_ ridiculous," she found the strength to whisper but went quiet again at the pained look on his face. Suddenly he was lifting her hand, placing it against his chest. " _Feel that?"_

His heart was racing under her fingers, making her hand twitch with the force of it. "... _Yes…"_

"It was like that on the island too...look at me...don't take your eyes off of me...remember what I said about the _Pearl_ , about how she's-"

"- _freedom_ ," she finished for him, smiling a smile that carried so much weight...balanced between memories and the present, heard him say something about her being freedom too...then a whispered _sorry_ …

Using the distraction, the spark of realization in her eyes that he equated her with his ship, he slid both arms back under her, breathed a "hang on to me" into her shoulder, and then thrust with a careful push of his hips. The world fell away for a moment, disappeared...he heard her distant cry of pain when he broke through, tried to whisper inarticulate " _I know's" and "shhh"_ but his voice was failing him...he could only hold her tightly like she was his anchor...his tether to reality while she clutched at him...her fingernails were pricking at him again, but he ignored them…

 _Needed to be strong for him...focused on his closeness, on his voice...on the beating of his heart...tangled her hands into his hair...tried to ignore the burning, tried to ignore her body screaming at her to escape..._

His ears roared, losing all clarity of sound, his lungs stopped functioning properly, his brain a mass of hypersensitive nerves...until there was no sensation left at all except for the feeling of his cock buried hilt deep inside of the angel beneath him, it consumed his very soul, his heart, his body and he dimly wondered if he might die, lacking the strength to protest the thought.

 _Need something...something to focus on..._ he laid his head down on her chest, feeling dizzy and feeling the steady beat of her heart, reminding him that she really was here, allowing him to be inside of her, _wanting it_ …

"It's over love," whispered into her skin both as an audible confirmation for him and as a desperate attempt to tell her that there would be no more pain...no more…

Her fingers found the ties of his bandana as she floated in some kind of limbo for a moment, rubbing the soft cloth between them, trailing down the length of them until she reached the end, then twirling them into a coil. The pain was going away, receding into a dull ache, but everything else still felt numb, like all sensation had been stolen from her...she shifted her legs, tightened them around his hips, then loosened them...her hands left his hair to slide over his back, circling around to feel the muscles in his arms, tightened from the effort of holding himself still...slid them down to his arse…

The blush at having her hands there was the first thing she felt, the first sensation to come back to her as it extended down to her chest, and she shifted a little, her entire body...her next breath skipped into her mouth with a shuddering noise, catching in her throat…

...he was inside of her...inside _...Jack was inside of her..._ and that was all she could say in that moment...inarticulate gasps of his name...he was stretching her...filling her, but all she could focus on was finally having him this close to her, in her arms, alive...ready to make love to her...tears stung her eyes again, but not from pain this time...just emotion...an overwhelming warmth that she felt in her chest, her womb, her arms _...everywhere..._ the ridiculous thought that she might be glowing from the force of it floated into her mind, making her suddenly laugh, a tinkling little sound that carried tension out of her body with it.

 _Where had he found the patience to endure this...where...couldn't fathom it...she was so perfect around him that he rather felt like he might skip all of this and ascend straight into the damn sky._

"Are you...are you…" he tried to ask, needed to know if she was alright…

The sound of his voice, a soft...not _quite_ a whisper...it held a new beauty to her…

" _Yes,_ I'm alright...just... _stay_ , I want to feel you-"

Her words were cut off by his sharp intake of breath and more frantic stroking of her face…the tears, she realized…

" _No..._ no more pain," she said as she gently lifted his hand away, wrapping her own around it and placing it on her breast instead. "I...I just waited... _so long_ for you, never thought I would have you," but her talking was only making more salty tears leak out.

 _That_ registered within him with all the grace of a musket ball in his kneecap... _she'd wanted him that badly..._ it made his cock twitch inside of her...felt heat in his face, like the sun had lowered to sit directly above him...felt his patience stretching, wearing thin…

"Lizzie, I can't…" he gave up immediately, dropping his entire head on her chest, pressing his forehead down, felt his hips slipping, and heard the scratch of her hair on the pillow, she was nodding, had her fingers in his hair again…

...he propped himself up on his elbows above her, kissing up her jaw…" _Tell me if it hurts,"_ he whispered hoarsely into her ear, delving into hidden vestiges of self-control that he wasn't even aware he possessed, and then slowly, _slowly_ slid out until just the tip of his cock was still inside of her. She tensed, the pads of her fingers pushing into his back, and he hesitated, teetering...until he heard his name in a soft exclamation…

Sending a silent prayer to whichever deity might be listening, _let her be alright_...he carefully entered her again to the hilt...she was still tight, too tight to really move freely...her muscles were still resisting him...but she was relaxing, her thighs were no longer clenched against him.

She focused on the skin of his stomach rubbing against hers, his breathing against her shoulder...just let herself _feel_...and she felt it...felt him leave her, and then felt him fill her again, still too soon to tell...found herself tracing the tattoo he had on his left arm...an outline of the _Pearl_... _beautiful, like him…_

" _You...you said that you find me to be like the Pearl?_ " she asked as he withdrew almost all the way once more...felt him smile, felt the soft kiss he placed on her shoulder, felt some of the tension leave his body. " _Aye, love,_ you... _god_...you take me for who I am...you…" but he had to stop...forgot what the question even was when he thrust back in, _she didn't even know how much this was killing him,_ despite her voice relaxing him a little…

"Perhaps treasure is too...too pale in comparison to me...surely the _Pearl_ herself is greater than treasure," she said, just letting the words float out of her mouth as though she was singing, feeling him pull out, push back in gently...it was fascinating the way he moved, the things his body did...the muscles in his back rippled, his buttocks clenched slightly, the muscles in his stomach quivered, his elbows pushed down into the mattress, and a rush of hot breath left his mouth every time…"She is the _greatest_ treasure...at least she _was_ …"

Her body was open to him, no longer trying to expel him, was trying to keep him inside, trying to pull him back in...the pain was truly gone now, and she was still here, still letting him...it really shouldn't be that hard for him to grasp that reality...her hands were roaming all over him, curiosity almost a physical thing pouring off of her fingertips...always so curious Lizzie...he stilled within her, forgoing withdrawing and thrusting again for a moment. Wanted to see her…

His biceps were pushing her breasts together a little when he raised his head, and she was wholly unprepared to see his face staring down at her, the wonder and softness in his eyes making a tiny involuntary " _oh"_ come out on her next breath, the eye contact sending a shiver down her spine, all the way into her core... _oh_...her hand slid down between their bodies, he was holding himself up just enough for her to reach down and feel him buried inside of her...his mouth taking hers in a tender kiss just a moment after...he was so warm, so hard... _throbbing..._ taking up all the room inside of her...but the stretch was starting to feel good, her chest clenching around her heart, sending pleasure through the rest of her body every time her brain acknowledged that she finally had him within her...treading over the thought again and again…

"I'm here love, not going anywhere," he responded to her probing fingers when he broke away from her lips to lay his cheek against hers, and withdrew almost all the way, thrusting back in freely, still keeping the slow pace...his entrance was smooth...she was molded to him...she was _his_ , at least for now…

 _Oh god how...the friction...it was incredible..._ didn't even know she could feel pleasure everywhere like that, spidering out from her core where he was gently thrusting, the muscles of his hips pushing against her every time he…" _...so...so...god Jack I don't…"_...didn't know what was happening, didn't...how could she feel so much and stay alive for it...her back arched, there was heat there too, heat everywhere, burning hotter with every stroke of his cock against her inner walls…

Gratification filled him at her pleasure, she was making music with her voice, beautiful noises every time he entered her...she wasn't even aware of them, but he was, and it was playing havoc on his self-control, which was hanging by a thin thread already... _but she was ready for a little more_ …"Wrap your legs around my waist, darling," he said, nudging her thigh with his fingers, his voice almost unrecognizable to him…"Lift your hips up a little."

She clutched the small of his back, lifting one leg to hook around him, then the other, her eyes slipping closed at the change in angle...felt his hand circle under to splay across the skin of her back, his other hand traveling higher to bury itself in her hair, while he was buried below, still for the moment. "Alright?" he asked, his head resting next to hers.

"Yes... _yes_ ," and nudged her shoulder up to make him look at her again, his forehead coming to rest against hers this time. He smiled softly against her lips, softly kissed her, and then withdrew from her, lingering for a moment before filling her again, watching the way she inhaled with his thrust, tilted her head back, watching how her eyes kept flitting down to where they were joined…a quiet "you're so _beautiful_ " slipping out of him just before he lowered his head to her chest, kissing down the valley between her breasts, her hands sliding up his back to rest under his hair, one of them tugging, _playing_ with it while he kept up with the tender steady pace.

" _Jack."_

 _Oh_ , he heard that, heard the lilt of frustration in her voice that she was trying and failing to hide, but he hesitated still...needed _more_ than that, needed to be sure…

She needed to _feel_ him...feel him how he was supposed to be...wild and free... _uninhibited_...but didn't know how to ask...didn't know if she was ready for it...she pictured him moving above her frantically, his arms wrapped tightly around her, and her core clenched around him, her hips tilted up...she pushed against him, trying to will him to... _didn't even know what…"Jack,"_ she whispered again…" _more...please…"_

His lips stilled on her chest when the power of her words washed over him, making his hips twitch, making the next thrust a little less controlled...a little faster...heard her breathy " _yes",_ felt her arch into him, heard another " _more"_...though he knew this time that she had figured out what she was asking for...he _barely_ held back the moan that threatened to escape his throat at her readiness, her desire for him...withdrew from her body and thrust back in, watching her reactions, her fingertips pushing into his skin, the convulsions of her lips...rose up to make eye contact with her again...wanted to say something to her...wanted to show her...but the spreading heat in his loins had his head dropping to her shoulder instead…

...his vocabulary was limited to her name then, a quiet chanting, "Lizzie, Lizzie, _Lizzie_ ", until he got control of his faculties…or maybe not, could barely tell anymore...her hair was tickling his nose, fluttering against him every time he exhaled until he lifted up to look down at her once more...his hand slid down to gently curl around her hip…"Move with me, love...like the sea, like _waves,"_ he said, his lips brushing hers with the movements of their bodies as he spoke, guiding her with his hand until she was able to do it on her own, her eyes open wide and staring into his...they were filled with something...what _was_ it…

...joy, it was _joy,_ a glowing light that he could now see was exuded from her very skin... _joy of him?_

It made a surge of liquid fire burn through him, made the control slip again, and this time he let it go, _just a little_ , picking up the pace, sliding into her in smooth even strokes... _so bloody perfect...his...she was his..._

The urge to tell him, to _tell_ him how he felt, how it felt to have his body pressed into hers, moving against her, thrusting, how every entrance he made into her fanned the flames of this... _euphoria_ that consumed her...she wanted to tell him so badly, but her voice was gone, _stolen_ by him... _didn't matter_ , he'd shown her how to move against him, and she did, letting her hips rise to meet each thrust...her mouth rising to meet his when he captured it in a kiss that melted her body, a heavy moan falling from her when he broke away.

Everything fell away, then surged back, fell away again, thoughts stopped mattering...he let the thin thread of willpower that was holding him back from letting himself go...let it fray just a _little_ farther, the pleasure of being inside her body too good to contain...

His cheek was pressed against hers when she heard it, a deep breathy moan vibrated against her skin, streaks of pleasure storming within her from it...she smiled, the smile vanishing quicker than it had come when her mouth fell open again, overwhelmed... _don't need to worry about me anymore, Jack, let go..._ she was chanting _more,_ breathy _pleases_... _his name_...could feel him struggling, could feel the tension in his body every time his hips met hers... _she wanted to hear that beautiful sound again..._ slid her hands down his back…

... _so damn wet...tight around him...could feel her getting slicker...felt her heels digging into his buttocks...then suddenly she pushed one into him, sending his hips snapping forwards into her...a hard thrust, a cry spilling from her lips, a hoarse "again" breathed into his ear…_

... _Christ..._ didn't want to hurt her... _couldn't_...but _god_ he wanted to take her, wanted to show her what it could really be like...the friction of her making him forget about what he could and couldn't do...he needed _more_ too...leaned up to kiss her, _devour her_ , to tell her with his mouth what he couldn't tell her with words...but it wasn't enough…he slowed once more, stroking the hair from her face, kissing her again, felt a sense of peace settle in him...

" _I won't hurt you,"..._ he promised, forcing his throat to function again, her response...a pleading " _take me"_ that had a grin spreading across his mouth, thrills of excitement bursting inside of him, his hips sliding, thrusting harder again.

 _She wasn't hurting anymore, he wasn't hurting her he dimly registered, the worry finally leaving him...she was alright...he wasn't causing her pain…_

...and then she felt it, felt the minute relaxation of him, the satisfaction in the way he held her, the way another deep moan rumbled in his chest, _he wasn't holding back anymore, had found a rhythm that satisfied both of them...she was flying higher, spurred on by the exquisite rightness of everything, by the heavy growls that rumbled in his chest, the short bursts of breath that left him when his lips left her skin..._

" _God, Lizzie…"..._ shook his head, dropping it to take her nipple into his mouth, sinking his cock inside of her a little faster, setting a rhythm, steady thrusts, teetering _just_ on this side of hard...felt her writhe beneath him, more cries spilling from her…

 _Yes yes yes...it was all she could think, shouting and screaming it in her mind_...she heard the noises she was making too...didn't care... _the sound of her own moans only made the fire grow until it was burning through every bone in her body…_

Something was building...making her _ache_ , her hips bucking against him, her heart pounding in her chest, her core _burning_...swift tears stung her eyes, the room was shaking... _spinning_...

The breath he was holding in his chest started to burn when he felt the first tremor of her around him... _yes...God he loved her...loved her so fucking much he thought he would die...another tremor...he knew she was close, her cries turning into sporadic whimpers..._

All she could focus on was her pirate...her _captain...J_ ack, _he was hers_ , the slick movements of his body, he was clutching at her now, making beautiful noises where his head was resting on her shoulder, hissed broken versions of her name...she was climbing, crying out...clawing at him, at his back, at his buttocks, tugging on his hair...her hips surged tight against him, cresting, tightening...constricting her heart...tears were running down her cheeks…but it kept growing until she couldn't breathe, _couldn't_ _think_ …

She was sobbing underneath of him, thrashing her head, and he switched his movements to deep deliberate strokes, sucking her nipple into his mouth again, reaching down to rub his thumb across her clit...nearly coming undone himself at the sight of her pleasure... _now…_

His lips settled against her cheek, shifting a little with each thrust…" _Come for me love,"_ he gasped, and then felt a surge of pride when she did, her body looked possessed by it, her inner walls pulsing around his shaft, a cry of his name falling from her lips.

 _The tension released, the coil in her stomach suddenly unraveled, her back bowing with the force of it, ragged cries leaving her throat tingling as her orgasm sent her flying high, sent heat shooting up her spine, sent her inner walls convulsing around his cock rhythmically, turning her into a creature of pure rapture, of madness, her heart shaking, shattering, the pieces swimming through her veins to light up her world...illuminating everything until it peaked in a glorious apex of elysium, suspending her there, then she was free falling back down._

Her release set something free inside of him, _she had found her pleasure, she was satisfied..._ he thrust faster, latching onto her neck when the growing storm inside of him started to take control of his body... _so much pressure, like he was being wrung inside out, set on fire...it was glorious and terrifying...a deliverance of his heart into unknown waters...loved her...would never stop loving her…_

Her mind was alert again, alert enough to feel his body still moving above her...she tugged him down, worked his mouth to hers and kissed him feverishly, his deep growl pushed between her lips at the same time as his tongue...he was close, she could feel him growing harder inside of her, twitching...his moans were getting shorter and harsher, his breathing was ragged, his thrusts were uneven, erratic...knowing that he was so undone, so _open_ to her made a special kind of warmth flow through her, _wanted him to find that glorious release like she had..._ she buried her fingers in his hair and tugged his ear to her lips…

"Come... _come,"_ she whispered, and felt a surge in her chest when his hips jerked hard into her, when his cheek pressed into hers with a rasping groan, when his hands clenched where they held her body.

 _Tightening, the tension in his groin had reached fever pitch...it was scalding, almost painful... then he heard her husky voice in his ear, telling him to come, and he snapped, pressing so close to her body that he forgot where she started and he began, felt the heat rising, felt the convulsions…pull out his mind told him, but it sounded like a faraway voice trying to break through sleep fog...pull out...can't come inside...then everything crystallized into hysteria as his orgasm made him surrender, possessed his body...forgot who he was, forgot where he was, forgot everything as the first streak of heat left him...barely managed to unsheath himself from her as the rest of his release spilled onto her stomach while he ascended into a delirium of glee...of...of...he felt fucking enchanted…stripped of everything..._

She watched in fascination as he jerked and pulsed against her, as curses that he wasn't even aware of were hissed through his teeth, as his seed was released onto her belly...when he convulsed for the last time, his arms gave out, and he collapsed against her, pushing her into the mattress, wiry arms coming to wrap around her torso, his face pushed into her breast, his heart still pumping frantically...and she held him too, entirely unable to fathom him being anywhere else, not outside the room, not next to her on the bed, _only_ where he was now.

As he came back down, as his cognizance starting picking up detail again, the smell of their lovemaking, the sweat on her chest, the steady rhythm of her heart, he felt an urge to say something... _anything_...just _things_...he whispered her name, her full name, a few shortened versions of her name... _Lizzie...Lizbeth...even tried Bess...loved her...loved her hair, her...her...loved her dammit...said that too, even though it was muffled by his still hoarse breathing and the fact that his face was in danger of sinking into her ribcage._

He was whispering things, but she couldn't make out any of them, they were all indistinct...until... _maybe...no...that couldn't be what he said...she must be hearing things...or hearing what she wanted to hear..._

Then a small slice of reality crashed back into him and his brain caught up with his mouth... _had she heard...he held his breath, listening, feeling for any sign that she had heard…_ but she was only laying underneath of him still, stroking his hair, his back...he felt her legs fall from his hips to rest on either side of him, and she let out a long sigh of satisfaction. Relief flooded through him... _his secret was safe for now...despite the secrecy feeling like the most unnecessary thing in the world right at that moment..._

Everything felt different, the texture of the bedsheets, the sounds of the world, the draft of air against his skin, it all felt... _invigorating_ , like had a new lease on life...like the very fabric of his reality had been rewritten, reworked...like he hadn't been living until just then, hadn't seen the world for what it was... _glorious_...he could lay on top of her for the rest of his days and not give a bloody single fuck about it...but some things _hadn't_ changed, like her body not being made for his weight to lay on it for more than a few minutes.

 _If this was what happiness felt like...this haze that made everything beautiful, made everything feel right, perfect_...then she had never felt true happiness before...it settled in her everywhere, made her feel _alive_ , made her skin tingle, and she didn't even try to stop smiling, _couldn't_...

"D'you want me to move, love?" he asked, lifting his head up just enough for her to hear him, unable to keep the smile out of his voice. He half hoped that she would say no, that they could stay here pretending to be in oblivion for a few moments longer…

...heard him ask her a question, a fresh wave of goosebumps washing over her at the sound of his voice... _gravelly, satiated...sounding like it was soft laughter converted into talking..._ did she want him to move... _no, not really_...stayed quiet for a moment, a lazy smile on her face, and then just shrugged, making him chuckle despite himself.

She didn't feel like expending the effort to talk for a second…

"There...there seems to be a mess…" was all she could get out before she was giggling, tapping her finger on the seam created by their torsos, trying to tell him about the mess there, _his mess_...not that she minded it...but perhaps she didn't want to fall asleep with it there…"Could wash it off probably," she continued, making absolutely zero effort to even twitch. He nodded, a quiet "probably" coming out of him too accompanied by a little snort.

 _God she loved him so damn much_ , the force of it making her heart swell...making her laugh more...his hand slipped up her body to idly play with her nipple, teased it back and forth, her hand covering his...her hips shifting out of pure curiosity so that she could feel his softened cock between them...felt his tongue snake out of his mouth to tease her skin... _this was real..._ then he lifted his head so that his chin was resting against her, and one look into his dark eyes glittering in the candlelight, elation still swimming in them, had her falling away again, to that place of nirvana, that place that was becoming her reality...whatever she had been living in before crumbling…

Suddenly the bed was shifting, he was moving, rolling to slump next to her, the full length of his body resting on its side along hers. His head was shoved in the little space on the bed between her arm and her torso, and his hand was still touching her, trailing around on her stomach.

It _tickled_.

Being tickled had never felt better in her life.

" _Jack_ ," she whined, tapping at his mess again, winning a laugh from him, and a quiet "fine, fine"...watched him roll onto his back, watched him glance around the room, almost like he was both wondering where to find a rag and using the excuse that he didn't know where she kept them to continue laying there. "They're in that little black thing over there," she answered, unable to think of the word 'dresser' or specify what 'over there' even meant, but he figured it out anyways after a slow blink and another smile, sitting up and then turning to swing his legs over the bed. His fingers tapped on the sheets for a moment, and she directed a quiet "what" at him.

"Don't know if I can walk," he deadpanned completely seriously, making her stare at the back of his head in disbelief for a moment before a bark of laughter shot out of her followed by more giggling. His "'m being serious" only doubled the force of it, and he was snorting out laughter again too in between something that sounded like "my bloody legs feel like jelly".

Truly having absolutely no trust in his legs to carry him across the room, he stood anyway, repeating the same thought over and over in his head... _it was never going to get any better than this..._ look for the rag…little black thing she had said...the dresser. Taking a deep breath, he purposefully walked over to it like he hadn't walked in a hundred years, focusing on each step, heard her little snickers behind him, knowing that she would have a hard time walking too, said so with a " _you bloody try it"_ followed by a smile and a glance over his shoulder at her.

Sliding open the drawer, he found several rags, a gray one, a dark blue one, and a red one. Chose the red one, dunked it in the little bucket of water she had, and wrung it out...turned around to look at her again, didn't really want to take his eyes off of her, before dropping them south and meticulously cleaned himself first, shuddering a little at the after-effects of his orgasm... _damn sensitive..._ then striding back to the bed, circling around to the foot of it, before crawling to sit in between her still spread legs.

She watched him settle there, watched him clean her stomach of his seed, the coolness of the rag making her shiver a little, and then he wrapped the rag around itself so that he had a fresh chunk of it, and she jumped at the unexpected touch of it on her inner thigh.

"What are you doing?"

Glancing up at her, it occurred to him that she didn't know. He sighed and kept cleaning the light stain of blood off of her skin, switching to the other thigh, then stopping for a moment once it was clean.

"The pain…" was all he said, hoping it would be enough to explain as he wound the rag around his finger and gently swiped it up her slit, coming away with more than just blood…

 _...shit_...he... _shit…_

After a few more 'shits' in his head, a fair burst of adrenaline, and a few 'fucks' thrown in for good measure, one out loud, he learned to live with and accept the fact very quickly that he had pulled out a hair too late...had she noticed? He was going to tell her anyway, some ridiculous urge to be entirely honest with her coming out of nowhere…

"Lizzie," he groaned, pushing his lips out in hesitation. Glancing up at her again, he caught her curious look, her arched eyebrow...letting his gaze trail down her body to her breasts, her flat stomach, even her still quivering quim... _too damn perfect for him..._ let his eyes linger for a second longer before speaking again. "Felt too good," was what came out, then he was rolling his eyes at himself... _ludicrous..._ but evidently she understood because she was smiling again.

"'S alright Jack...it wasn't... _all of it_ …"

Not that she would have really minded that much if it had been...the prospect of having a child with Jack sounded very attractive right at that moment, in her miasma...but she rather thought that she would think that no matter what state she was in...she wanted _everything_ with him…

He sat pouting anyway, frustrated with himself, before finally relaxing again when her toe nudged his knee with a quiet "c'mere".

Once he finished cleaning her entirely, he threw the rag to the ground and climbed over her leg, pushing against her body with his hand until she scooted over enough so that he could comfortably snuggle against her, the word snuggle making him bury his head in her shoulder to stifle his sudden burst of laughter. 'What?" she asked, playing with his bandana again.

 _What_ indeed...contemplated it...came up with nothing that could explain it…"I don't even _know_ " he answered, shaking his head, then lifting it to make eye contact with her, another question wriggling around in his mind.

She felt his hand settle against her stomach, before sliding lower, his lips giving her shoulder lazy kisses...something sprang to life within her again when one finger slid gently up and down her slit, not really aiming to do anything, just _touching_ her.

"Are you alright?" he asked, suddenly praying that she was, that she didn't regret it, even though nothing in the last ten minutes had even given him the slightest suggestion...especially her soft gasp when his finger touched her again.

The urge to have him back inside of her battled with the tired weighty feeling settling in her... _later_... _as soon as possible, but still later…_ "Yes, better than alright, I think. A little sore."

Relief flooded through him, and he leaned up to kiss the corner of her mouth, turning her face towards his to kiss her completely.

"I'm sorry for hurting you," he said quietly, feeling like it was necessary to apologize for some reason, then looking up again to catch her cute little smile, just before her finger tapped him on the tip of his nose. "You're forgiven,"...it was said with the lightest teasing tone he had ever heard. "I think everything that came after made up for it anyway...it was... _well_ , if I wasn't so bloody tired, and if you weren't so bloody tired, I'd be demanding a repeat performance already."

Allowing just a little smugness to wash over his face, he dipped his finger into her folds to circle around her clit, enjoying the pleased smile that spread across her lips. "Next time'll be better."

 _That was something she had to experience...better...not sure it could get better than what she had just felt…_

She pushed him onto his back when the drowsiness made its presence too prominent to ignore. "'S go to sleep."

Nodding, he rose and got up for a moment to blow the candles out, stopping next to his breeches to retrieve his dagger, then carefully making his way back to the bed, slipping the dagger under the pillow. As soon as he was comfortable, she scooted next to him and laid her head down on his shoulder, pulling the blanket over them. Instead of goodnight, he got a sleepy _thank you_...he could guess what it was for, many things, and he also knew that he would prefer something else over a thank you or a goodnight...it was the same thing he wanted desperately to say... _again_ , to say it again, but he kept it inside, unwilling to take the risk…at least until he noticed that she was fast asleep against him, her golden hair laying everywhere, her arm draped over his chest.

His right hand came up to stroke her face, skittering across her skin, over her lips, tracing around her ear...he felt liberated, in that moment, to say what he felt, to speak the three words that had both the potential power to make his life fall apart or to make the seams become so strong that nothing could tear them open, and then he did say it, another whispered " _I love you, darling"_ , so simple, yet...the darkness of sleep was enveloping him, and he let himself fall into it, looking forward to the morning more than he ever had in his entire life.


End file.
